Up until last Friday, I was an executive at a big corporation in downtown Cincinnati. On Friday I was fired – fired because of my bathroom habits.
They said I was never at my desk. They said I didn’t complete projects and could never meet deadlines. They said I wasn’t performing. I can’t really argue with them, because I was busy in the corporate restroom jacking off.
Ever since breaking up with my girlfriend, I’ve been a mess. I no longer have anyone to screw. Now, I must have sex with myself several times a day and when I was working, I simple had no choice but to do it at work.
I’ll miss going in, will miss all the great looking girls who work there. I’ll miss this Teri chick the most.
Those eyes, so blue. Her long blonde hair, so beautiful.
Her breasts, sooooooo large and playful.
She has the perfect ass and I love her short skirts.
Her legs…….simply outstanding, so lovely.
Her feet………..to die for.
The way she moves her mouth when she talks to me.
…………………excuse me; I must go to the restroom.
Nate
(Photo: a-m-s.com. p.s. Nate is in the middle stall)
Horny Nate is funny!
LOL Girl,
Get over and see Nate right away. He’s a little backed up!
I realize this is most likely a joke, but back in my “horny days” when I was a kid and I’m saying early 20’s, going to the bathroom at work and jacking off wasn’t all that uncommon. Sometimes you get turned on at work.
Nate, I can relate.
This blog is becoming constantly disgusting.
No way I could do it J.R. If someone caught me I’d have to quit my job.
I don’t want to believe men really do this.
John Fox, the editor of CityBeat who is over this vile, sickening blog that Larry Gross runs must be proud of this kind of work, must be proud of this story of a man masturbating in a restroom. Apparently, this is the kind of story he wants to see out there for the public to read.
I’m glad you were fired, Nate. You sound like a complete jackass.
The thought of a male co-worker having a conversation with me or whatever and then going into the john to jake off is very sickening to me. This Nate character has some issues he needs to work out.
top of the morning to you jean.
Try to contain yourself when standing in the unemployment line.
ok, That was pretty funny.
and then going into the john to jake off
jack is bad enough. let’s leave jake out of this.
This wasn’t funny THE FIRST TIME YOU WROTE IT.
This is too funny. Poor Nate just can’t control himself.
Do men really do this?
Jean,
I have no idea why you keep putting yourself through this. If you find this “vile” don’t come here.
Welcome back, Jean! We missed ya!
“Do men really do this?”
Get real, Jeannie. Of course they do. With men, its all about tits and ass and little else. Having a hard pecker is the only thing that really matters.
Bee,
It’s sad when a woman starts grouping all men as being the same. It’s like saying all women are like LOL Girl.
…………what phil just said.
Jesus Christ. No, not all men jack off in the john. Some don’t have to. Some have a little class.
I wonder what Nate calls his package – “24/7?”
With today’s post, certain questions come up.
*Is Nate sitting or standing when having sex with himself?
*If he’s in a sitting position, does he also take a piss or take a dump while he’s having sex with himself?
*Does he scream out when he comes?
You need to finish your story, Nate.
Actually, even women do this (I guess).
I’m not sure that this ex-in law (a female) is the norm. Probably not. However, when she was still in the family, she revealed to me that she would go to the ladies room to masterbate. I assume her job wasn’t very challenging or that she may have been a nympho. I haven’t a clue.
I can say that I have never taken a “masterbation break” at work. And I’ve worked a long, long time.
women do this too? what a fool i’ve been all these years.
she would go to the ladies room to masterbate
……..must have been LOL Girl.
she would go to the ladies room to masterbate
……..must have been LOL Girl.
…or perhaps jean.
When girls go to the bathroom together — what does that mean?
I’ll miss this Teri chick the most.
Who wouldn’t miss Teri Archer?
She showers with her bathroom door open.
She hangs out in bars.
She writes columns about having PMS.
She writes about having anal sex.
She has sex in every room of the house.
Except for not liking smokers, she’s perfect.
Alex,
I don’t know why women go to the bathroom together but I doubt if its to have sex if that’s what you’re saying.
Except for not liking smokers, she’s perfect.
she have a perfect beaver in that shower photo too.
Don’t know why some of you guys are always so hard on Teri. She just writes honest posts about things in her life.
lets hope this nate guy doesn’t become a regular feature here. lol girl is fine but i find this masturbating jackass boring.
He should call his package “I can’t stop loving you.”
Marilyn
“I can say that I have never taken a “masterbation break” at work. And I’ve worked a long, long time.”
I’m sure you didn’t need masturbation at your job. You were probably getting symbolically screwed enough.
I would like to look on the bright side of this. Perhaps Nate was just “honing” up on his condom application skills.
Dear Friend of Natasha,
Whew, figuratively and literally, yep I wuz screwed!
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