Several weeks back, I lost my job at a large corporation, because I was late on projects and could never meet deadlines. The reason for that is because ever since my girlfriend left me, I haven’t been “getting any” and I had sex with myself several times a day in the company restroom.
Since the firing, I’ve gone on only one interview that didn’t work out too well and have sent out a ton of resumes. No far, no luck.
Stress, no doubt, has led to me not feeling well and I thought it was time for a checkup. My regular doctor, grumpy old Dr. Thomas, was out of down – so I went to see his new partner in the practice – Dr. Anderson.
When I got back to the little room, the nurse told me to undress and put on one of those stupid gowns. The nurse was a pretty young thing, and I could feel myself getting a hard-on as she took my blood pressure and temperature. She didn’t seem to notice.
After she left, I had to wait for Dr. Anderson for something like 15 minutes and my penis deflated. I started to read a magazine.
I heard a knock on the door and when it opened, my heart skipped a beat. Dr Anderson is Dr. Sheri Anderson.
She was beautiful – brown hair, blue eyes, and splendid cheekbones. Her smile was very inviting.
In her sweet, sexy voice she asked me to breathe in and out as she listened with her stethoscope to my chest. When she bent over a little, I caught a glance of her bra strap. Her breasts were very ample and beautiful. My penis was getting very hard.
When she asked me to continue breathing in and out, she took her stethoscope and pressed it against my naked back. It was almost more than I could stand. I wanted to get between her legs soooooooo badly.
When she asked me to lie flat on my back, she looked at my penis which had a full erection. It was hard to hide with that gown I was wearing. She gave me a puzzled look and said “excuse me.”
Long story short: The nurse came back in the room and said Dr. Thomas would be back next week and that I could reschedule with him.
Before I left the doctor’s office, of course, I had to use their restroom.
Nate
(Photo of the sexy doctor from thunder1.cudenver.edu)
Get on over here to Price Hill, Nate. I’ll take care of your problem.
Nate,
Go over to Covington and pick up a hooker and be done with it.
Nate, I think you blew it with the nurse. She probably saw your erection. When it didn’t bother her, you should have gone for it.
Nate, you are a helpless fool, but we love ya anyway
Here’s a thought – why don’t you kill this asshole off just like you did Troy?
You think this chick is hot? She almost looks like a guy.
those eyebrows of hers are a little scary.
Why do you constantly put up these stupid stories?
Nate is great
I realize that this Nate is really a joke but I got a buddy who is constantly turned on by women and has been known to jack off four or five times a day – anytime and anywhere but mostly in the john.
Don’t bother with screwing medical professionals — go for health insurance companies. They’ve sure been f’ing me!
These “Nate adventures” are truly dumb, but this is the best one yet!
i hate nate.
There once was a man named Nate
Whose desires he could not satiate
to the bathroom he’d run
‘tho it had long since been fun
and there he’d violently masterbate
There once was a man named Nate
Whose desires he could not satiate
to the bathroom he’d run
‘tho it had ceased to be fun
and he would once again masterbate
a couple of versions of the same poem, feel free to add to it.
There once was an accountant named Nate
and all day long he would calculate
to the bathroom he’d run
when the numbers became no fun
and there he would quietly masterbate
—Fred, the accountant
God forbid they kill off Nate! Whatta man; knows what he wants, but is clueless how to get it!
There once was a pig named Nate
Whose social skills were not so great
but even at the barrel of a gun
which clearly was no fun
he could always get it up to masterbate
Sick poetry to go along with a sick post. Just wonderful.
There once was this Nate dude,
Whose social skills were quite rude.
He made the chicks run away,
So with himself he must play.
At this rate he’ll never get screwed.
I would like a poem for Janice, but I’m no good at it. Your loss, Janice.
there once was this gal named janice
the lol blog we could not stand it
but we are such a beast
for freedom of speech
we simply tell her to cram it
God, these poems are so, so bad. But funny.
Nat’s life must be hard (not what you are thinking). Didn’t he just lose out for having an erection while being interviewed by a woman for employment?
let’s just all hope that nate goes blind. i think he has it “coming.”
This poor man’s constant erection
Could not escape detection.
And we could not be meaner,
Making fun of his weiner.
We ought to take up a collection.
I find this topic horrible,
Souless and deplorable.
The wrath of God
Has shocked and awed.
Ask Sodom and Gomorrahble.
“Gomorrahble”?
Now, far be it from me to condemn John 3:16’s soul to hell for changing the Word of God either a jot or a tittle. (Good limerick, though.)
But what I really meant to say is that, if this story about Dr. Sheri Anderson were real, she would have pushed Nate’s “toothpick” to the left, put her middle finger deep into his scrotum, and asked him to cough.
Then put on her glove, and asked him to bend over.
And wouldn’t that stethoscope have stimulated her nipples enough that we would have noticed one or the other protruding in the image?