CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{August 22, 2006}   Football and Sex

Well, it’s football time again and I can’t say I’m happy about it. It screws up my sex life.

My boyfriend lives and dies by the Bengals. When they win, he is a sexual animal, the best lover a woman could ever have. when they lose, he is a loser – going to bars with his buddies and crying in his beer – then coming home to me and going to bed. It’s like sleeping with my sister.

Can you imagine what my sex life was like when the Bengals were constantly losing?

I have no idea why men are like this – they live and die for sports.

Let’s hope the Bengals have a winning season. If they don’t………does anyone out there know of any good books to read?

Jackie Mason


I’ve been married for 20 years to a guy who sits on his ass every Sunday watching Football. It won’t get any better honey.

casey says:

bottom line: don’t marry this loser.

Jackie –

While I hope your sex life stays healthy, if you need a good book to read, go to the blogroll and click on Shari Goldhagaen’s website. She has a great novel out.


Just pretend to be as upset about the Bangles losing as he is. Say, “Those damned blind refs! What is this world coming to? Oh, Roger, hold me. I need you. I need you now more than ever!”

Mary says:

Heather’s kind of right. So much of relationships involve play acting – at least as far as I’m concerned.

C.A. MacConnell says:

Hey Jackie, I have to admit, I’m a very, very devoted Bengals fan, but mostly because I have a crush on Tory James. I know about rules and winning and losing and such, and I’ll yell and scream at the refs with the best of ’em, but I’m much more concerned with James in his uniform, than I am about the whole beer/peanut thing. Scratch that, I dig peanuts. Anyway, good luck to you…sorry about your man. Try obsessing on one of the players…it has worked wonders for me.

Good luck!

Sharon says:

That’s right – some of us women like football too. Maybe Jackie needs to get more into it.

Jackie says:

NO – This girl has no intention of getting more in to it.

Jackie Mason

I think there’s always going to be a different between the sexes. Men are always going to like sports better than women. I know my wife hates me watching football, but I like it.

Jon says:

Not all men enjoy football. Jackie, I’m available!!!!!!

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