Dinner: Chicken breast, salad, carrots, two bowls of cereal, soy milk.
Midnight Snack: Food poisoning.
If anyone’s ever had food poisoning, I’m so sorry. Now I know how it feels. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I wouldn’t even wish it on my partial enemy. Even my cats looked at me confused. I’m sure they were thinking, “What the hell’s the matter with you, ew, gross Mom, let us outta here, for real.”
What’s even stranger is that I was just bragging about my manly stomach the other day, how it’s made of steel, how I can eat anything, how I’ve never had food poisoning. My exact, bold words were “I’m immune to it.”
Never say never. Sometimes I think God is a cosmic joker.