I feel like Nell Carter sometimes. Just GIVE ME A BREAK!
If you want a good laugh, a reason to curse under your breath, or an excuse to start smoking cigarettes, sit down by the Hamilton County courthouse around lunchtime and you will see what I am talking about.
Grant it, we live in a society that practices freedom of expression in the way we live, talk, practice of religion, so on and so forth. However, when it comes to dress, some people should be guillotined immediately.
On one particular day, I was sitting at the courthouse, waiting for the bus, and I see this man; nicely dressed I might add, with all his front teeth capped with full and open-faced gold.
“Got to be more careful!” I said to myself. When does a person get to the age where it looks more becoming of them to dress age appropriate? This gentleman had to be in his late 40’s-early 50’s and his “gilded dentures” took all of his distinguishing characteristics away from him. Nice haircut, nice outfit, and his grille said he was a disabled pimp waiting for his S.S.I to kick in.
Not too long after that, I saw a young lady with a bra that was obviously too small for her ample bosoms. It was the all too common, buy-two-get-two free bra fiasco, where a woman’s bra is so tight, that it appears she has two breasts on reserve in the event of an emergency. For the love of God, if you (and I am speaking to the female readers) know you were blessed with an impressive set of hooters, invest in a good bra.
Shit! It’s bad enough to see those ladies with the “depressed breasts;” those that scrape the sidewalk and sway from side to side, hoping, wishing, and praying they, one day will be lifted up, so they can draw all men unto thee (I got that last line from an old church hymn, so you know I am going straight to hell).
I love my senior citizens, but every now and then, they need to be corrected too. I see this too many times in older women. If your legs look like an AAA map, put on some peddle pushers (haven’t heard that in a long time). One day, my legs will not look as good as they do at 29 years old, but when that day comes, I hope to wear some pants, or cargo shorts to hide my various colored veins.
Now back to the younger generation. I have never seen so many big-behind girls in my life. Being a staunch member of the flat ass society, it is easy for me to slide in a pair of jeans. I often wonder how long it takes for those who possess “massive junk” to get into a pair of pants. Pay the extra money to get a pair that fits. There is a way to show what your mama gave you and look good; big ass or no ass, there is a way to accentuate your body type and look fantastic.
Again, I am at the courthouse waiting for a bus, and up Main Street come three guys who had hair like I have never seen in my life. I like hair and I like how some people in Cincinnati is creative with their tresses. However, if you are African-American, and your hair looks gray, wash your shit. No need for the high-end shampoos and conditioners, take a bar of soap and give it a go.
I could not help but notice how horrible their hair looked. One’s hair doesn’t need to be styled all the time, I don’t care what race, or sex you are, just keep your hair clean. Take pride in who you are.
Rich, or poor, Indian Hill or Price Hill, make it a point to look your best with what you have. And by the way, to the white tee-shirt brigade, turning your shirt inside out doesn’t make it clean again.