CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog











{October 20, 2006}   Multiple Choice

multi.jpg
If I had a hammer, I’d
a. hammer in the morning
b. hammer in the evening
c. hammer all over this land
d. all of the above.

Hey! Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? And if you did was she
a. laughing
b. taking a dump
c. having her teeth cleaned
d. crying
e. all of the above

The Cincinnati Enquirer is
a. the first thing I read every morning
b. paper I wrap my dishes and glasses around when I’m moving
c. something I’ll use as toilet paper when I’m out
d. all of the above

Lead, follow or
a. quite your job
b. lie about what you’re doing
c. get out of the way
d. all of the above

The chicken crossed the road to
a. have sex with her gay lover
b. to get to the other side
c. purchase a Cincinnati Enquirer
d. to lay it on the line
e. all of the above

Gregory Flannery is
a. a person who hates this war we’re in
b. news editor at CityBeat
c. a person working downtown who doesn’t like all the car beeping
d. all of the above

We turn the clocks back
a. immediately
b. October 29
c. does anyone really know what time it is?
d. none of the above.

U.C. stands for
a. ugly campus
b. ungodly costly
c. University of Cincinnati
d. all of the above

Jack and Jill went up the hill to
a. get stoned
b. screw one another
c. something about a pail of water
d. load their clothes in the dryer
e. throw their copy of Cin Weekly into the Ohio River
f. none of the above

Eat, drink and be
a. Mary
b. Fred
c. Naked
d. Merry
e. passing gas
f. none of the above

After having sex I like to
a. smoke a cigarette
b. leave immediately
c. exchange insurance information
d. find out his or her name
e. all of the above

LOL Girl is
a. hot
b. a bitch
c. a hot bitch
d. a naked hot bitch
e. all of the above

Larry Gross

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Tate says:

Thank god its Friday and a good way to start the day is to laugh my ass off. Using the Enquirer as toilet paper – too funny!



Polly says:

I love your strange humor. I’ll be laughing on the bus this morning!



Buster says:

Man, I thought this was pretty funny and I hope you do this again. Sometimes it gets a little too heavy here for me. I like the offbeat stuff like this.



Roger says:

Dumb and not funny.



Paul says:

A fucking scream! Just not long enough. I like it when you let your humor come through. You don’t do it often enough.



Karen @ the hood says:

I laughed my ass off !!! (what little there is of it)



Matt says:

“The Most Beautiful Girl in the Word” – the old Charlie Rich song. You’re dating yourself my friend!



Brenda says:

I loved this! Funny!



Heather says:

d
no
b
b
b
d
c
Under Construction
f
d
snuggle
Larry Gross



Brian says:

Ah, yes, thanks for taking us back to the lighter side of LivingOutLoud, your twisted humor is a good way to start the weekend!



Marilyn says:

Larry, you are demented… but you didn’t need me to tell you so!



Marilyn says:

Heather, I’m beginning to wonder if LOL girl isn’t Greg Flannery?



William says:

I feel like a steaming pile of crap today (flu, I believe) but this really cracked me up! Need the laugh bad.

And as well all know, Jack and Jill went up that hill to get high as a kite and when they came off the hill, they went straight to White Castles due to the munchies.

Please do another one for next friday



hard as nails says:

humor is always good on a friday and this was quite funny.



Jacob Hicks says:

I’m sorry. I don’t see any humor here at all.



jackula says:

kind of funny but mostly strange.

when is that david guy, gallaher, going to write something else?



Jeff- or-ly says:

If you didn’t find this funny, you are dead!!!!! I’M STILL LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!



Hannah says:

Hey! U.C. has a great looking campus. I hope you were just joking.



Heather says:

I love U.C., but I don’t understand what they’re doing with a lot of the new construction.

They’re building these weird, futuristic metallic monstrosities directly onto some of the most beautiful old buildings on the campus.

It looks like the Borg have landed and are in the process of assimilating the school!

“Resistance is futile.”



Geri says:

I know you can’t please everyone all the time, but this thing just wasn’t funny. If you do another one like William wants you do, I won’t bother to look through it.



Heather says:

Why is everyone always threatening Larry? I can understanding voicing your opinion, but what’s with the threats to leave or not read it?



Larry Gross says:

Heather,

It’s all right. My view on this is very simple. I can’t please everybody all the time. If readers decide they don’t like it here, they can go. I can’t look at it any other way. The views get stronger here every week – that’s what I look at to see how we’re doing. I look at all the comments too and I’m glad when someboby likes a post, but I can’t and don’t lose sleep when someone doesn’t like what’s up. It’s like television. Change the channel.



Karen says:

I think that a lot of people who read blogs like to complain. Not all but some. I see it on others and I sure see it here.

But you’re doing something right. You look at the “clicks” and see the numbers going up but I can’t help but notice now many comments you get. Go to the “offical” blogs at CityBeat and look at the comments – sort of like a ghost town there. It seems like here, even when people have nothing really to say, they still want to leave a comment. Is that because they feel comfortable here?

I think that’s the reason, Larry. I know you have mixed feelings about doing this blog, but it has really caught on quickly. I hope you are proud of that

🙂



Babble On says:

I like the variety, I like your humor and if other people want a blog totally directed at themselves, then they should start their own.



numb says:

my choice? dull, boring, sleepy, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.



you-moo says:

your post was very, very, very, VERY funny. thank you.



“I laughed my ass off !!! (what little there is of it)”
Karen@da Hood

Karen,
Put a patch on the right rear pocket of your jeans saying, “fill dirt/junk wanted here.”

“when is that david guy, gallaher, going to write something else?”
jackula,
I communed with my excellent friend, Avtar Gill, on Fountain Square today. He had a little sign that said, “Who Dey?” in Punjabi as well as English.
I told him I had blogged (on the CityBeat site) that the two of us would sure-as-shootin’ walk around on Fountain Square on Naturist Day with our lower deely-bobbers bobbling. I could tell by the twinkle in his eye that he would be ready, willing and able.
Then, it happens, I went back to have my home-prepared lunch with a pregnant Brahmin friend of mine, and we discussed Indians who speak Punjabi and have the name, Gill. (Northern India)
I did not tip her off to possible upcoming festivities on the Square. (She would have choked on her okra.)

P.S. Avi needs some repairing of his glasses, but we must be careful not to diminish his charisma and schtick.

September 12th, 2001

Mac Geek Gab Podcast: Listen to John and Dave talk through Mac tips and answer *your* questions each and every week!

[Editorial] Through Eolake’s Eyes – Hoping For Calm Minds
by Eolake Stobblehouse

The total destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City yesterday is the most shocking disaster in most people’s memory.

Words truly fail.

One thing is crucial, though: While even my thoughts (and I am a peaceful individual) turned to revenge (or at least to Justice, which often looks deceptively like revenge) when I learned about it, we need to keep our cool.

There are forces on this planet who would like nothing better than for martial law to rule, and for war to become prevalent. This is not a good idea. In other words, if people, especially politicians and other opinion leaders, lose their heads and start clamouring for violent actions on a big scale, speak against it. Even if they find the responsible parties with any kind of certainty (which is very unlikely), the real responsible people will be a smallish group of individuals, living amongst thousands of innocent people who had nothing to do with it.

Besides, whether we like it or not, nothing we can do, nothing at all, can make something like that right again.

Yours, Eolake
————————————————————————

Eolake Stobblehouse is a contributing editor to the Mac Observer, specializing in cultural matters
[Post Your Comments Below]

————————————————————————

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Don’t know how it happened, but my comments should end just before Eolake’s, where the date is September 12, 2001.



Heather says:

David,

I like you, you know that. I often find myself reading over your stuff just trying to figure out what it is you’re saying (even excluding the accidental part of the post). Maybe that’s WHY I like you much.

But I simply must ask, how the hell do you say “Who Dey?” in Punjabi??



Heather,
Now I feel silly I didn’t ask.
I will next time, but then how will I convey it here?
You know, the easiest way is to seek out your own Punjabi friend (and leave Avtar alone).



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