CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{November 1, 2006}   Don’t Lie to Us

woman-in-bar.jpgPlease don’t think I’m a bad person, but sometimes I go to bars and sometimes I meet a guy I like. I did last Saturday night.

We had more than a few drinks and the talk turned to sex. I don’t have a regular boyfriend, don’t take birth control pills but this guy who I thought was nice said he had protection in his apartment, namely rubbers. We talked some more and I went back to his place.

In the heat of the moment, when it was “time,” I asked him if he wasn’t forgetting something. Turns out he had no protection at all. He lied about it.

I was turned on but not that turned on. I put my clothes back on and called a taxi with my cell phone.

Guys – don’t lie to us, be straight up. There’s no way I want to be a mother right now and this “nice guy” I was with Saturday night sure isn’t ready to be a daddy.

Teri Archer


Julie says:

I don’t think anybody reading your post is gonna think you’re a bad person for going to a bar. What’s bad are men lying just to have sex. I don’t want to say they are all alike, but they kind of are.

Bill says:

I’m assuming the guy wasn’t a smoker?

Polly says:

This shouldn’t surprise you, Teri. When it comes to sex, men will lie everytime.

Man of the Hour says:

Not all men are like that Teri, you know that. A simple stop at a drug store would have prevented this and you both would have had a nice evening. He just blew it.

Karen @ the hood says:

In my neighborhood, girls get looks just walking down the sidewalk. Sometimes that’s not even safe. I meet nice guys sometimes but most are after one thing and that’s sex. Using a rubber? Forget about it. Men here don’t buy them.

Babble On says:

Can we all agree here that men are pigs?

Sherry says:

NO! Not all men are pigs. You’re not going to find quality men in bars.

Eddie says:

It seems like us guys get picked on a lot here lately. I don’t really consider myself a pig, ya know?

Marsha says:

If you’re expecting to find somebody who will respect you as a person, I would suggest not trying to find them in bars.

C.A. MacConnell says:

I have this close friend. She just brings her own.

Bill says:

Great CA,

Next time I go out, I’ll be looking for you!

SARAH says:


Marilyn says:

Not everyone who goes to bars is “bad”. I like bars, and I’m a pretty decent person.

But the guy who lied was a jerk… Not only do you have to worry about pregnancy, there’s a whole range of std’s to consider.

You chose wisely to get dressed and get the hell outta dodge.

Erin says:

Marilyn’s right – bars are not bad. You meet good people and bad people, just like you do in church, and I go to both.

C.A. MacConnell says:

there was a time i thought bars WERE church. scary.

C.A. MacConnell says:

Bill, you won’t find me there. I don’t go to bars unless I’m working and I go to hear somebody, and then I go home. Bars bore the crap out of me.

Bill says:

All right, CA – I’ll meet you in church or would you prefer the local UDF?

Chuck says:

Who the hell is this SARAH PERSON?

numb says:

teri and rubbers don’t mix.

Becky says:

If Teri thinks she’s a bad person for going to a bar every once in awhile, then I guess I’m really going to hell!

And I’m sorry, you do meet some good guys in bars but not the one you picked out.

Karen says:


I just read your Living Out Loud column. I was moved to tears.

Jeff- or-ly says:


If you go out with me, I promise to take care of the protection. No problem here, girlfriend!

Phil says:


Your last piece was about smokers and how you don’t like them but yet you continue to go to bars and even go home with men. I don’t think you know what you like and don’t like.

Jackie says:

I also read Marilyn’s piece about her son. So, so moving. She is turning out to be a hero of mine.

Jackie says:

I also just read Marilyn’s Living Out Loud Column. I don’t know what to say, also moved to tears. I wish I could just hug you.

Marilyn says:

I really don’t want to intrude on Teri’s blog post, but I thank you for being moved by my writing about my son.

In the space of 367 days, I lost my leg and my son. (I’d give all my remaining appendages to have him back, of course.)

Life is just really hard. When the powers that be try to convince me to come back to the earth plane (Hey Marilyn, you’ll grow so much faster over there on earth), I’m going to politely decline. This plane is too fraught with sorrow.

Teri Archer says:

You’re not intruding at all. It’s a total honor to have you as part of my post. What you have to say is a lot more important than my post. Thanks for sharing.

Jim Stanton says:

Marilyn, Teri, Karen @ the hood are the real LOL girls and one of the reasons why I always visit. I enjoy each of your writing.

Tom Curry says:

I drink and smoke but that doesn’t mean I’m an insincere person. I can’t remember who commented that all men are pigs but grow up. If you don’t like men, why don’t you go gay.

Sister says:


When are you gonna write that book? I’ll be first in line to buy it.

Polo Stick says:

I got that “protection” in my dresser drawr. Come on over.

Patty says:

Here we go………….here come the guys again thinking with their dicks.

Amy says:

I don’t think probably Teri was expecting a “turn” if you know what I mean. I mean, she is not LOL girl who is looking for it.

Jeff- or-ly says:

I think a lot of us are waiting for LOL to make her return!!!!!!!!

Toast says:

This blog is turning almost as dull as the CityBeat blogs. You’re starting to repeat yourself. Can’t you come up with anything new?

numb says:

teri kind of looks what lol girl. how disgusting.

Here is what you should have said:
If our fair city were Sinincincinnati rather than Phil Burr-ass’s Queen City, bars wouldn’t be bad, casual sex wouldn’t be bad. Even men wouldn’t be bad.
Now, lying… yeah, that would still be bad.

C.A. MacConnell says:

Marilyn, I read your story today. So touching, so powerful, so enlightening. Thank you for your strength and courage. I admire you and your writing. All the best to you and your daughter. Peace and God bless. Christine.

Eat This says:

You are a total, complete mess.

Marilyn says:

Teri, No one person’s voice is more important than any other’s!

Christine (CA), many thanks for your very kind remarks… *sigh* This has been a bad, bad time, but daughter and I are supporting each other as best we can. And sometimes we even suceed.

Numb: if you care to heed David’s advice, perhaps you’d learn to articulate the angst that you harbor. Hey, and then maybe some of us could get on board with ya! Ah, it’s all about peace love and understanding! (Yeah, I’m an Elvis Costello fan!)

Matt says:

Too nice to numb, Marilyn. The guy (I’m assuming) is an asshole.

Marilyn says:

Matt, yeah, being too nice is sometimes my downfall!

William says:


Not to be vulgar, but I hope you got to “celebrate the moments of your life.” Nothing worse than being in heat and the heat is suddenly gone. And for the record, guys (NOT ALL) dismiss the fact of putting on condoms. 1) Leave it to the women to provide them (Cheap bastards!) 2) ” Baby, I’m clean….. (Good for you, Mutha…)

I hope your next encounter is better. As for numb…. the name says it all!

Toast says:

Golly, Teri, maybe you were just pmsing.

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