CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{November 6, 2006}   Some Things I Have a Great Deal of Trouble with in This Lifetime

1. When someone takes over my arm rest at a movie theater.

2. When someone not only takes over the arm rest, but his/her shoulder and stomach also spill over it, touching me, slightly brushing against me over and over and over. And over.

3. Mean political commercials and/or fake nice political commercials.

4. When candle wax gets on the carpet.
(4a. Realizing it doesn’t matter if there’s candle wax on my crappy carpet).

5. High rise buildings.

6. Dressing up to go to a high rise building.

7. When they put up Christmas decorations everywhere the day after Halloween and I can’t get to the discount candy because remote control Santa and/or a Nativity scene are in the way.

8. Half-Caff.

9. Every living ‘possum.

10. Every dead ‘possum.

11. High heels, flip flops with heels.

12. Those inexpensive bookshelves you buy at discount superstores, the ones that claim “easy assembly.” Last time I checked, not easy. At all.

13. Pseudo-dates, e.g., “My friends and I are at Highland. Why don’t you stop by?”

14. Folding a big sheet at the Laundromat, when there’s no one there to grab the other end, and the damn thing brushes against the filthy floor. Twice.

15. Bad B.O. (I can take it or wear it to an extent but bad is just plain bad).

16. Poison ivy, oak, sumac. I once had all three at the same time and ended up in the ER.

17. Ringworm. Relax, it’s not a worm. Just an annoyingly disgusting skin fungus. You know what they say…when in the presence of animals, become an animal.

18. Meat breath.

19. Peanut butter breath.

20. Clowns.

21. Tomatoes.

22. Clowns throwing tomatoes.

And number one…

C.A. MacConnell


Polly says:

I’m with you on the peanut butter breath. Its sickening.

Brenda says:

I’m a very organized person and one of the things I have a great deal of trouble with is when I leave work, other people will feel free to use my desk. When I come in the next morning, so much for being organized. I always have to clean it up. Be considerate!

Karen says:

Clowns throwing tomatoes? What is the world coming to!

Karen @ the hood says:

Hi CA,

Try working in a diner and giving good service to customers who can’t even leave you a quarter tip! I have a lot of trouble with that.

Wally says:

Your second “complaint” cracked me up about the stomach spilling over into your seat at the movies.

I have a lot of trouble with FAT people. When did we as a society get so big?

Bev says:

You crack me up C.A.!

james says:

if you can get past the tail, rats actually make pretty good pets.

hard as nails says:

i’ll help you fold your sheet 🙂

Brenda says:

I once dated a “rat.” Never again.

Tony says:

Funny? Not really.

Marty says:

Just a little too much information about ringworm for my taste, but it was a funny post.

C.A. MacConnell says:

Thanks, that possum picture is royally freaking me out. omg.

Jean says:

I have a great deal of trouble with blogs that make post but really have nothing so say……………like this one.

Mandy says:

What, CA – you don’t like peanut butter? That’s almost unamerican!! (kidding)

Marilyn says:

I don’t like clowns, but I love tomatoes.

I hate and detest my husband making a sandwich on the counter, and then just leaving those crumbs just lying there… He does this everyday.

I hate rats, but I like mice — go figure.

Phil says:

CA is always entertaining!

Sister says:

One of the things I have “big trouble” with are people who get on the bus and change for their five dollar bill. Plan your trip according girls and boys.

Jackie says:

How’s your cat?

Polo Stick says:

Your strange but funny. Meat breath?

Sarah says:

Yeah, mice are kind of cute but rats? I hate the tail.

numb says:

you have two number ones.
you apparently don’t know math.

C.A. MacConnell says:

Actually, I threw you some bait, but thanks for your concern.

Jim Stanton says:

I grew up in the country and possums (that’s what we always called them) are the dumbest animals alive. I forget how many I’ve seen runover on the road through the years – it just wasn’t worth counting.

I hope you’re not scared of them C.A., because they are really very harmless. Dumb but harmless.

Nancy says:

Some of the recent posts have been funny. It is nice to see some humor again. You were all taking yourself too seriously.

Jacob Hicks says:

If these are the things that you’re having a great deal of troulbe with, I think you’re lucky. You must be a young person. Wait until you get to be my age. You’ll know trouble them.

not to be negative says:

Well, at least it wasn’t another youtube video.

Babble On says:

I just want to add to what sister is saying about people who ride the bus who ask for change. Sometimes I get people hitting me up for money to pay their fare. What a bunch of bullshit that is. You know, if I had any real kind of money I wouldn’t be taking the bus.

Rapid Shave says:

Know what I have a great deal of trouble with? Women do don’t know how to drive. Put your makeup on before you leave the house and leave your cell phone in your bag while driving. And when downtown, pull your car into a lot. Most of us don’t have time to watch you tie up traffic while parking on the street.

Bill says:


You’re as young as you feel, you know? You seem to come here every so often so you can’t be that old.

Matt says:

Good old numb likes to put down everybody. Again, what a jerk. Again, why doesn’t Larry delete his comments?

This song is dedicated to Jim Stanton. Ask him to hum a few bars:

My children are hungry, my dog needs a bone.
I’m out of a job now, so I’m just drivin’ home.
An hour after sundown, when what to my delight,
There’s five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

cho: There’s five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.
If I can just run him over, every thing will be all right.
We’ll have some possum gravy, oh what a beautiful sight;
There’s five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

Won’t have to clean no chicken, won’t have to open no cans.
Just a little bit closer, and I’ll have him in my hands.
I think the time has come now, to go from “dim” to “bright.”
There’s five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

Jim Stanton says:


I’ll be singing your song all morning long!

Karen@the hood says:


Your song made me laugh out loud! Did you make this up?

C.A. MacConnell says:

David, funny as shit. hat’s off to ya.

Rapid Shave: I can parallel park better than any guy I know. I don’t put makeup on while I drive and neither do any of my friends. What you said about women drivers = ridiculous stereotype.

I didn’t mean to claim credit for the possom ditty.
I thought everybody would recognize it for the down home favorite it is. It’s just one more reason to listen to the Cuttin’ the Grass show Saturday morn on WAIF. Or to Katie Laur on WNKU of a Sunday eve. I don’t know who wrote it. All I did was Google it.

On a related topic, I will give myself credit for this that I have on both a coffee cup and a T-shirt:
“Flounder: The other flat meat” I pictures a flounder.
(Then, credit to the daughter for producing the cup and shirt. And credit to her also for humoring her ding-a-ling daddy.)

Heather says:

I have a clown phobia.

I have a traumatic childhood clown story, but the phobia came first.

I really, really can’t stand clowns.

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