CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{December 13, 2006}   Conservative Sex

love_by_sudzlemuffin.jpgI’m from Cincinnati and while I don’t consider myself conservative, I think living here tends to make you that way even if you don’t realize it. This past weekend, I became aware that I was conservative when it comes to sex.

When I say that, I mean I usually have sex on a bed. This past weekend, I hooked up with a guy who wasn’t interested in that.

I had no idea what I’ve been missing.

We did it with me leaning over the kitchen table.

We did it in the bathtub.

He was on top of me on my coffee table.

Not once did we go to the bed.

Lesson learned? No more conservative sex for me.

Teri Archer


Matt says:

I wouldn’t suggest trying it on top of a microwave. Don’t ask me to explain.

Jack says:

Years ago, I did it once in a public restroom with a girl I was seeing. I don’t see her anymore, but that memory won’t ever go away. Hell, I wouldn’t even have the nerve now.

molly says:

are those two girls kissing in the picture? kicky!

Janie says:

It’s not a gal, Molly, just some dude with long hair.

David Gallaher says:

Is LOL Girl on sabbatical? Poor Teri’s having to do all the “work” around here.

Shari says:

Making love in the shower is wonderful, but the bath tub? I would think that would be pretty uncomfortable.

hard as nails says:

you had out in so many pubs, i’m surprised you haven’t done it on the bar.

Roger says:

Yes indeed, memories come flowing back, doing it in the back seat in my 1959 chevy. First car, first screw.

Marilyn says:

… hmmm. Sex on the beach (and not the drink!)– Eastfork at night. Got busted by the park ranger right in the midst. We had ‘illegal’ wine with us. After he wrote us up, he handed the wine back to us and said, “Here, you might need this.”

Karen @ the hood says:

That’s funny Marilyn!!

How you doing these days?

Susan says:

Just when I think this site has hit a new low, I find this.

You need to put some kind of warning up that this site is not for children.

Phil says:

Shit. I guess the strangest place I’ve ever done it was on a conference table at work with a gal who had the hots for me. We did it after hours. Not the most comfortable lay I’ve ever had.

Sally says:

Slut much?

Paula says:

My husband and I once “did it” in our bedroom closet while I was changing clothes 🙂

Marilyn says:

Karen, hi!

That was a true story about sex on the beach… my life is so weird, even made up stories pale in comparison.

I’m doing ok. This christmas season really sucks without my son. Even though he was in Florida all the time, I could call him and send him care packages. I miss him terribly.

On the plus side, I just started driver training lessons using a “left foot accelerator”. This because my right leg is the amputated one. It’s tricky, but I think I can do it. The alternative (being stuck here at home til I die) is NOT feasible!

Take care!

Eric says:

On the coffee table? Jesus, I hope you cleared it off first. Otherwise, it might have been painful.

Karen@the hood says:

I’m glad you’re doing all right. I know this is going to be a hard Christmas for you. I’ll be thinking of you, hope you know that.

My sister and I will be spending Christmas day together. Wednesday is my day off and I’ll be walking uptown to hit the old dollar store on Race. I wish I could do more for her but it’s the thought that counts, right!

Take good care of yourself.

Jean says:

Stupid and childish.

Jeff says:

I always thought it was how you did it – not where in the house or on what piece of furniture you did it – that determined whether intercourse should be considered conservative or not. Afterall, ankles around the neck are ankles around the neck whether in bed or on the staircase.

Lonnie says:

I hear what Jeff is saying. My wife and I experiment in all different ways in the bed but that’s the problem, it’s always in the bed. Being creative is doing it in different places and I can’t talk her into it.

Paula says:

“Why don’t we do it in the Road”

–sounds uncomfortable–

C.A. says:

My philosophy: when it’s good it’s good whenever and wherever.

hard as nails says:

buddy larry probably does it on the bus.

ralph says:

did it on a water bed once. kind of got sick.

Shawn says:

An old girlfriend and I did it at the Esquire a couple years ago. The place was almost empty, the movie a dud, so what the hell? The seats were comfortable.

Janice says:

I’m assuming Larry Gross is the editor of this so-called blog. I have a message for him.

Your post about “Packages” and now this thing about where we have sex hits a new low for this town. You should be ashamed of yourself and why CityBeat lets this blog get worse and worse with it’s content is beyond me. You need to be shut down and fast.

Tad says:

Mark and I (yes, gay people here) like the excitement of trying to do it in public. A movie house is sometimes good or perhaps oral sex in a darkly lit restaurant. You would be amazed as to what people don’t really notice. It’s a little adventure.

Brian says:

Summertime nights, outside on the grass, warm air all over me and my honey’s naked skin – it doesn’t get any better than this, my friends.

Julie says:

outside on the grass

NO!!!!!! Too many bugs.

Chuck says:

Since we’re all being a little sick here today, I’ll share something.

My wife and I have a pool table down in our basement, we both love to play. Here’s our usual bet.

Best two out of three

If she wins, I have to wash the dishes. If I win, I get to bang her on the pool table.

I’m the better player.

Gus_Johnson says:

Once, Susan, Jean, Janice and I had groupsex with several “little people” that were on break from filming a porn flick down the street at the super 8. I guess if that isn’t strange enough for you, I should mention we put on quite the show for a couple lucky patrons of Gorilla World at the zoo. I know it’s kinda weird, but we were wondering if a donkey show worked the other way. It really doesn’t, the Gorillas seemed more confused than turned on. They only have the one position, and they always do it outside.

C’mon kids – if you don’t like what’s on, change the channel. Stop trying to step on free speech. CityBeat has nothing to do with wordpress. You’ll need to file a complaint with the internet… or get netnanny for yourself.

Matt says:

You’re the man.

Ed says:

My wife (then my girlfriend) attempted to do it in the woods once. It was the worst experience in my life. Wild animals kept interrupting.

Janice says:

Mr. Johnson, you can go straight to hell.

Heather says:

Sex is one of the most wonderful aspects of our existence. It’s the reason we bother interacting with each other in the first place. Hell, it’s one of the reasons I get up in the morning (and go to bed at night).
And yet there are people who would call a discussion about the one thing we all have in common “sick,” “disgusting,” and “low.”
When are we Americans going to cut the ties to our puritanical ancestors?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating promiscuity or wild orgies (though I wish all the best to those who enjoy those things), I’m just saying that we should be able to talk about sex without feeling like it’s profanity.
Christians in particular spend their lives hating everything that is earthly and human because they wish to curry favor with a god whom they believe hates everything earthly and human. But why would a righteous god create something vile which he hates, and then make that very thing one of the most delightful pleasures in our otherwise painful and bleak existence?
Is it possible that sex is enjoyable because it was meant to be enjoyed? Is it possible that sex makes us happy because it’s good?
Is it not those who use sex as a weapon, such as rapists and child molesters, who are the evil ones? And is it not those same evil people who are always caught yelling the loudest accusations against sex? The preachers and the congressmen who wish to protect us from the evils of our own sexuality are the ones who turn out to be the villains in the end.
So let us not be fooled by those who decry as evil that which we know to be wonderful, and most importantly, let the scrutinizers be the first to be scrutinized by the rest of us, for their righteous anger is often a flimsy cloak that hides the true evil in their hearts.

Babble On says:


Where the hell you been, girl? We have missed your F I R E !!!

Jill says:

Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing. I’m always amazed how people like Susan, Jean and now this Janice feel so angry about it.

Heather says:

Babble On,

Well thanks, that means a lot to me. I have a blog, but I don’t have the time to keep up with it, so I haven’t done much with it. Plus, I haven’t gotten fired up there (I think I need someone to argue with).


Karen says:

I think Heather and Gus should get married. Fire indeed!!

Richard says:

Time to punch the old time clock and head for home.

If my boss knew I spent so much time here today, I’d get fired.

Wally says:

I love doing it to my wife standing up in the hallway. It’s great excercise.

Theresa says:

I’m not about to say where or how my husband and I “do it” but it sure has been fun reading today !

Andrew says:

Maybe my eyes have been opened here a little bit. I’ll approach my wife and will check out the coffee table. I think it’s big enough.

Mac says:

Ever have oral sex while driving a car? I have 🙂

Heather says:


That is wreckless and irresponsible! For crying out loud, you have to keep your eyes on the road, Mac!

Mac says:

I stopped at every light 🙂

The other Mac says:

Mac, you gave yourself oral sex while driving? Points for flexibility and stamina. You must do yoga.

Tate says:

A girl and I did it on a car hood once. Can’t say it was that enjoyable.

Charlie Tuna says:

I just read through all the comments. Now, I must take a cold shower.

hard as nails says:

Now, I must take a cold shower.

gee, all alone? call teri. she’ll be right over.

patsy says:

after cutting the grass, my husband will tie me up and screw me before raking up.

we live in the country.

Ro says:

Is Teri the LOL Girl Now? Teri, what do you look like?

Billy says:

Ever do it butt naked on a block of ice? You really need to focus.

Dave says:

Here’s an interesting idea. Do it with your clothes on.

Ted says:

Hey Teri,

Are you in to bondage at all?

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