I love drugs. I don’t mean the caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and Prozac that makes reality bearable for most people. I love all those, of course, but they’re just for base-line, day-to-day living. For recreation, I like marijuana, magic mushrooms and acid when I can find it. I don’t do needles or crack. You gotta have standards, right?
There are very few times when I’ve found a good buzz incompatible with what I had to do. I’ve gotten high before work, before church, before my kids’ school pageants and concerts.
If you want a truly deep experience at a funeral, try going on magic mushrooms. It transforms the whole experience.
In my job I work all day with the public, sometimes including policemen. Nobody has ever suspected I was tripping while serving them.
I know drugs aren’t for everybody and they’re really bad for some people but for me they’re a source of constant amusement. I’m not hurting anybody and I’m having a hell of a good time.
Someday they’ll repeal the stupid drug laws and spend their time trying to catch dangerous criminals instead. Meanwhile I’ll just keep doing a good job, being a good father and getting stoned when I can.