All I want for Christmas is my two
A. Big breasts.
B. Eggs over easy.
C. Cents worth.
D. Front teeth.
Grandma got run over by a
B. A Cin Weekly delivery driver behind on his route.
D. A Queen City Metro bus.
I saw mommy kissing
A. Bob the mailman.
B. My daddy’s ass.
C. Santa Claus.
D. A lesbian named Sally.
E. A Cin Weekly delivery driver.
I’ll have a blue Christmas
A. If you put that bag over my head.
B. If you make me eat that cheese coney.
C. Sitting on this block of ice.
D. Without you.
Rudolf the red nose reindeer, had a very shiny
A. Rear end.
D. All of the above.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping
A. In your rear-end.
B. At your nips.
C. At your nose.
D. A and B.
Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy
B. Cin Weekly delivery driver.
D. Gay snowman.
Santa Claus is coming
A. Soon to a theater near you.
B. On your face.
C. To have sex with the LOL Girl.
D. To town.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle
A. It up your ass.
B. All the way.
C. The change in my pocket, but stay away from my private area.
D. Your money away.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even
A. Bill O’Reilly.
B. That fucking parrot that never shuts the hell up.
C. That Cin Weekly delivery driver sleeping with my mother.
D. A mouse.
A. That this shit will soon be over.
B. Of a white Christmas.
C. While sitting at my desk at work.
D. A sexual fantasy.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, and since we’ve no place to go
A. Let’s have intercourse.
B. Let’s kill ourselves and let the Cincinnati Police find us in a year or so.
C. Let’s invite that Amway sales representative over so he can tell us how we can quit our day jobs and start working for ourselves.
D. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.