CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{December 28, 2006}   I Gave In

man-and-woman.jpg (photo: Some days back, I wrote a post here called “Conservative Sex.” Many thought I meant having sex only one way – in one position. What I was referring to was getting away from the bed and making love in other places in my apartment and my boyfriends. Again, being born and raised here in Cincinnati and on the West Side has made me conservative in a lot of ways even if I don’t want to me. My new boyfriend opened my eyes.

For about two weeks, we were together constantly and made love all the time. A few times in the bed, but mostly other places and it was all good except for one thing: He really likes anal sex.

A lot of you won’t believe me when I say I’ve never had it before. My boyfriend wanted it, so I gave in.

I didn’t like it. His penis felt tight inside me. It was uncomfortable and I felt dirty afterwards. When I told him this, he looked disappointed and he hasn’t called me since we got together for Christmas. I think he’s moved on.

Doesn’t a woman have a right to set limits? Doesn’t she have a right to say what she feels?

Teri Archer


Maria says:

Of course you have the right to say what you feel. If this man really cares about you, he’ll understand why you don’t like it. For the record, it’s not my favorite thing either.

Karen says:

It’s your body and your decision. If your boyfriend walks away from you because he doesn’t want you to express how you feel about it, let him keep walking.

Matt says:

Of course, if the girl doesn’t like anal sex, just say it. That shouldn’t kill a relationship. Its honesty.

Barbara says:

What’s the goal this morning, to gross out your readers?

hard as nails says:

rear ends: outtake only. no intake.

Mandy says:

I think a boyfriend not only needs to be a lover but most importantly, a friend.

If your boyfriend walks away from you because you don’t like anal sex, maybe he’s some kind of lover but really a friend. Friendships out last sex every time.

Brenda says:

Anal sex means anal rape. Your so called boyfriend is a jerk.

Mike says:

I think in any relationship there has to be some give and take when it comes to sex and where you “do it.” My wife doesn’t like anal sex, but I do. Because she loves me, she will take it in the behind sometimes.

Jen says:

Man oh man. Wow. This site is taking on subject matter I don’t like. When you get back to what you were, send me some kind of an e-mail. Until then, I’m out of here.

Beth says:

I don’t know why, but I find myself laughing at this out loud. What does that say about me?

Susan says:

Flat out disgusting.

Heather says:

If he really likes anal sex, and you don’t, then the best thing for him to do was leave. You have every right to say no, but that may make the two of you incompatible. It was rude that he just up and stopped contacting you, but then, it’s kind of a stretch to call someone you’ve been screwing for a couple weeks your “boyfriend.”

Either way, trust me, you don’t want to deal with the kind of problems that arise when one partner is into something and the other isn’t.

Elly says:

“I think in any relationship there has to be some give and take when it comes to sex and where you “do it.” My wife doesn’t like anal sex, but I do. Because she loves me, she will take it in the behind sometimes.”

She takes it the behind because she loves you? Where the hell is the give and take here?

Brian says:

A real man will understand a woman’s limits. And if he can’t/won’t understand, he’s not the one for you and vice-versa – you’re not the one for him, which is just as well to find out early in your interactions.

At least you had a sweet little ride for awhile with someone who helped you find a new way to enjoy the playful elements of sex and affection.

james says:

perhaps your boyfriend is just putting it in the wrong place. Perhaps he’s “missing?”

jim says:

you both have rights– you have a right to say what you like, and so does he

Debbie says:

Perhaps he’s “missing?”

you’re awful.

Julie says:

A woman always has the right to say what she feels. So do men, but my experience is most men are not in touch with their feelings at all. It probably threw your boyfriend off when you told him the truth about anal sex.

Frankly Teri, I think you’re better off without this guy. Look for a guy who’s in touch with himself. They’re hard to find, but they’re out there.

Hardy says:

post sort of sucks today but at least the photo is hot. the girl, not the guy.

Heather says:


Insecure about your sexuality?

Hardy says:

“Insecure about your sexuality?”

probably. i guess i’m pretty straight when it comes to screwing, probably uptight. i don’t think i could do a women in the rear end, think it would gross me out.

Justin says:

I’m a gay man, so I don’t really have much to say about this if you get my drift. To me its like bushing my teeth.

Heather says:


Yeah, but taking it up the rear can be pleasurable for a guy because of the prostate (someday I’ll tell you guys how they get semen samples from elephants). But what’s in it for a girl?

hard as nails says:

what’s in it for a chick? if you’re a hooker, i guess money.

doodie says:

hey, any opening is fair game.

Audrey says:

All your posts recently have been sexual – looking for guys in bars, saving sex in every room in the house, and now getting pumped up in the ass.

You’re a slut.

Judy says:

You’re way out of line, Audrey. Just because a woman wants to go out and have a good time with a man doesn’t make her a slut. I think what you are is uptight and also rude.

Matt says:

Where the hell is Jean? We must have her take on this.

hard as nails says:

you know what jean’s take is going to be. disgust, disgust and more disgust. who needs more of it?

Brian says:

Yeh, seriously with the “who cares?” about Jean, I hope that person has moved her misery elsewhere.

And if a girl/woman enjoys sex and all about gettin’ it and explorin’ it all that means is she’s in control of her sexuality. Audrey, you’re just playing into the double standard of society – a man is some big stud if he’s plants his pole alot but a woman is some kind o’skank if she likes to fuck.

ExCUSE me? What year is this? That’s bullshit from the uptight past -EVERY adult person of WHATEVER gender should enjoy respectful and responsible fucking and lovemaking with whomever they choose to share themselves. If you choose not to be that free, fine, live how you want to live but don’t try to spread your morals on top of others’ worlds.

Hell, if more people at least gave new sex an open-minded try, like our girl Teri did, maybe then this town wouldn’t be all wound up and tight like an over-controlled piece of machinery.

Word to your pleasures, people.

With all undue affection,


Bev says:

I have to agree with Brian here 100%. I can’t say it any better than he did.

I come to this site a lot and I’m always amazed about the uptightness of some of the comments. Is this typical Cincinnati? I’m not from here and more and more I’m see that this is not a liberal town at all. I’m a bit surprised this site is even around.

Man of the Hour says:

Dump that guy and hook up with me. I promise you we will have lots of sex but I’ll stay out of your ass.

Andy says:

Anal sex means anal rape.

Anybody ever see the movie “I Spit On Your Grave” ? Brenda’s comment made me think back to this movie. A girl is in the woods and three guys beat her and have their way with her and one of the scenes is an anal rape scene.

Since watching that movie I’ve never thought of anal sex the same and haven’t done it since.

do-right says:

i say if a hole is open, fill it.

jackula says:

all i can really say is thank god i came out of the closet five years ago. i no longer have to worry about some dude trying to stick his hot dog up my more than beautiful ass.

Roger says:

It would do my heart good if the LOL Girl gave us her thoughts on this, but she only responds to her own posts.

How come Teri Archer is being so quiet about the comments?

Biscuit says:

Its an interesting post. The main thought that comes to my mind is; Is it a good idea to put your name on a sexual post?

Perhaps tomorrow will be “Fisting Friday” here on Living Out Loud. I think Jean is working on that post as we speak.

Kenny says:

In college, I dated a girl for a little while who was really fat. I don’t know why I did but I did date her for awhile and she liked anal sex a lot. Her behind was so big, it really turned me off — was hard to keep my machine going if you know what I mean.

jolly old man says:

sorry about losing the love of your life, teri, but i’m sure you’ll find some other loser in a bar soon.

jolly old man says:

and oh yeah, one who doesn’t smoke.

Heather says:

Hey, we all have to set standards.

Rita says:

Wow Kenny – perhaps you will win the Nobel Prize for dating an overweight woman. Perhaps she preferred anal sex as opposed to being face to face with you.

hard as nails says:

nice knock out punch from rita here.

Mac says:

he hasn’t called me since we got together for Christmas.

Shit, Christmas was only last Monday, you needy little girl. Go play with your sex toys.

Karen says:

Notice how a lot of the men here are being really nasty to Teri? Is it because she’s being honest with her feelings? I think I’m probably right. Men like to put on the old mask and it is sure showing here today.

Matt says:

Hey Guys,

I have Jean over here tied up in my bed. Anyone want to have anal sex with her? I’ll pass.

Donny says:


With a face like yours, I would want to be looking at it while we made love 🙂

Jackie says:

Where’s Marilyn? We need her input here. Seriously we do.

Tom says:

Being gay, I of course know about anal sex and for men it brings a lot of pleasure. I can’t relate to women having it because I don’t think like a woman, but being the person I am I find it really disappointing that so many here find it disgusting.

The biggest problem I have in Cincinnati is living among small minded people. Does anyone here know the sayings to each his own and to live and let live?

Cindy says:

I know Larry Gross writes and edits the Living Out Loud column and is in charge of this web site as well. Is he two different people?

I find his column thoughtful and well written. Very often I read his columns over and over again, because they are so good – and then I come over here.

I think this web site way too often goes out of its way to be disturbing and dark. Today’s post of anal intercourse is something I’ve never read about in his city and I don’t see the purpose of it.

Why can’t this web site be more like the column?

C.A. says:

What concerns me is this: “Doesn’t a woman have a right to set limits/say how she feels?” I thought, you mean you have to ASK that? Of course…always should respect yourself first. Of course…every woman has a right to set boundaries/limits/say how she feels…gotta know that in your gut, before you can have any kind of equal partnership that involves respect. That’s how I see it. From the inside out. No pun intended.

Heather says:

“disturbing and dark”

That IS Larry.

That’s why I like him.

Polo Stick says:

Spread your legs and let me come inside.

Face up, of course.

Polo Stick says:

…………and i like a gal in red.

Heather says:

Okay, you guys are retarded. The photo even says it’s from Google!

C.A. MacConnell says:

I’ve never been to Google, but they must have good photographers in that city.

hard as nails says:

google pile is my best friend’s name.

Marilyn says:

OMG! Rita scored a TKO against Kenny there! Love ya, girl! SWAK!

Marilyn says:

My advice to any woman (or man, for that matter): Don’t look for love. Live your life and if it’s supposed to happen it will. If not, then be happy and live your life fully.

I hate it that women are taught they must have a man to be happy. My stepdaughter goes out of her way to find men, any man (and they are always far beneath her). She needs to learn to be happy within herself.

Rally says:

What a cute bitch you are!! I’m the kind of guy who would MAKE you love anal sex. You’ll be crying for more.

D.K. says:

I want to screw you.

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