CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog











{December 30, 2006}   My Penis Problem

troy.jpg (photo: male.powersexlife.com) Hello. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Troy. I’m 25-years-old and in great physical shape. Above is a photo of me taken down by The Ohio River this past summer. I’m a hell of a handsome dude, don’t you think? I work out constantly. I have really big muscles. I’m built, ladies.

My life is wonderful. I have a great job at P & G, a beautiful apartment in Hyde Park and women fall all over me when I walk the sidewalks in downtown Cincinnati. But I have a problem.

Because of all my muscle building, my penis is hard to find. It’s almost as if it has disappeared.

Now in the photo, it looks large and firm. That’s because I stick empty toilet paper rolls into my front area – where my penis should be – so you ladies will have something to see, but it’s all a lie.

My penis is the size of a toothpick. I can barely piss out of it. I always have a great, firm erection, but my penis is so very, very tiny.

I have a question for the ladies – downtown, in Hyde Park or even in Price Hill. Do you prefer a man such as me with large muscles or would you prefer a large penis?

I’m beginning to think my penis is going to fall off soon. However, I have a great big wart on my tongue. Ladies, I think it would bring you a lot of pleasure.

Troy

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Dave says:

Poor Troy. In regards to his big muscles and his little pecker, it reminds me of the old saying…….all dressed up and no place to go.



Hannah says:

This is too funny. The thing is, I know a guy just like him!



Matt says:

Don’t worry, Troy, to most women size doesn’t matter.

And if you believe that, I gotta a bridge to sell ya.



Karen says:

“I have a great big wart on my tongue.”

Is it bigger than your penis? 🙂



David Gallaher says:

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya, Jean!

By the way, is “Troy” numb’s nom de plume?



Sue says:

Is this for real? I get really confused here trying to figure out what’s real and what’s being all made up.



Theresa says:

When it comes to pleasing a woman, there’s only one “muscle” that matters and yours, apparently, is about to fall off. Good luck to you.



hard as nails says:

i think this troy cat must have read that “throw away that razor” post from a few days ago. at least he has a nice head of hair.



Dana says:

Trashy much?



Darlene says:

Maybe the LOL girl would enjoy your wart, but I think you’re gross.



Beaver Head says:

Big muscles = small dick. That’s why I don’t work out.



Maria says:

Wow!! What a handsome man you are! And with that great big old wart on your tongue, you’re hard to resist. Give me your phone number baby!!!



Jackie says:

This has been your most disgusting post of all time.

I have no idea why I’ve read it four times.



Marilyn says:

hahahahahaha! Gotta love it!

Seriously folks, this is a very touchy subject. The absolute best lover I ever had, had the smallest penis I’d ever seen.

Conversely, the guy who had the absolute (award winning!) biggest penis was a jackass.

Face it, a large penis is a handsome addition to any man. Greatly appreciated if it’s there. But a big penis does not a man make.

And the wart?? Fugetaboutit! I have no idea if the wart in the mouth could lead to genital warts, but somehow genital warts are now connected to cervical cancer. No thanks!



Heather says:

Holy shit! Sand and palm trees in Cincinnati? You mean I didn’t have to move to the other side of the country after all? Fuck!

Oh, and Troy: invest in a strap-on.



Julie says:

“I have a great big wart on my tongue. Ladies, I think it would bring you a lot of pleasure.”

I think I’m about to be sick.



Marilyn says:

OMG, I can’t stop laughing!

Guys, is this possible? “My penis is the size of a toothpick. I can barely piss out of it. “



jackula says:

Oh, and Troy: invest in a strap-on.

i’d be happy to give him one of mine 🙂



hotdog man says:

I stick empty toilet paper rolls into my front area.

White Cloud?



hard as nails says:

i doubt if it’s white cloud. from the looks of this dope, i’d say scott toilet paper.



Beth says:

Troy,
In regards to that wart on your tongue, post a picture of it, then I’ll get back to you.



Charlie Tuna says:

Guys, is this possible? “My penis is the size of a toothpick. I can barely piss out of it. “

Hell no. I think this guy’s retarded or is really a gal.



Marilyn says:

CT, I think the author of those words gets big kudos today! I’m still snorting over it!



Matt says:

“By the way, is “Troy” numb’s nom de plume?”

Actually I think this Troy is really Jean looking for her make believe penis.



D.K. says:

I LOVE THIS. IT’S SO FUNNY!!



Mandy says:

I hope we get constant updates on Troy and his penis problem. I’m worried about the poor guy and besides, I need a laugh every once in a while!



Joanie says:

Once upon a time, I enjoyed coming here but now so often I think the intent is to be outrageous and it really turns me off, like the post today. I’m not coming back for a little bit.



Mac says:

I don’t agree with Joanie at all. This city never pushes for anything different or anything out there. KEEP PUSHING IT.



Sarah says:

Is this guy Troy an asshole or what? I hope this is all made up and a joke.

If you can’t “find” your penis, go to your doctor and get some supersize pills.

And that wart on your tongue – god, what a turn off. have it removed, jackass.



doly says:

you know, you also have a little head but its bigger than your toothpick dick. just pretend your head is your member. your welcome.



Chris says:

I work at P & G but have never run into you. Thank God.



Bitch from Price Hill says:

“Do you prefer a man such as me with large muscles or would you prefer a large penis?”

First of all, Troy or whatever your name is, if you don’t have a decent size penis you’re not a man. If you think building muscles makes you a man, then you’re a little boy.

Go to the doc and do something about your problems, both your physical one and the one inside your head.



hard as nails says:

I always have a great, firm erection,

so when your erection goes away, is your dick like a used, wet toothpick? just curious.



Marsha says:

With the post and all the comments, I laughed until my stomach hurt.



hard as nails says:

man, I wonder what troy is doing on new year’s eve – waxing his penis?



jackula says:

good luck to you troy. maybe you should turn gay if you aren’t already.



[…] 2007}   My Date, My Penis Hello. My name is Troy. Some days back, I wrote a story about my penis problem. Many of you assumed it was some kind of joke. I assure you it’s […]



[…] Yesterday afternoon, friends gathered at a funeral home in downtown Cincinnati to pay their last respects to Troy – a P & G executive and a man whose body was all muscle. However, his penis was the size of a toothpick. […]



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