CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{January 7, 2007}   Shopping the ‘Net

bull.jpgLast March, my prosthetist (fake leg maker) asked me where I got my unique purple and floral cane.

“You can find anything on the internet,” was my reply.

I had no idea how true a statement this would turn out to be.

My mother-in-law has admired my cane for nearly a year. So, when the time came and I asked her what she’d like for Christmas, it was no surprise that she said she’d love a cane like mine and that purple was her favorite color.

I had bookmarked the site. As an amputee, it was likely I’d be ordering another cane someday, and so it was easy for me to find

I thought I’d looked over all the types of canes. After all, I have way too much time on my hands these days. But in my perusal of the different categories (yes there are many categories!), I found a section called “collector” and clicked on it.

Hmmm, my eye was immediately drawn to a subcategory named “bull organ”.

“What the…?” I thought to myself.

Undaunted, I clicked on the bull organ subcategory.

What met my eyes was, if not a wondrous sight, a certainly surprising sight.

I beheld The Legendary Bull Penis Walking Cane! It is touted as ‘a legendary cane that represents power and stamina. Professionally cured by a taxidermy. 100% steralized.’ (Misspelling of sterilized is their bad, not mine.)

Dear constant readers, in light of Larry occasionally needing a cane for stability, I vote that we begin a campaign now to raise funds so Larry can have this legendary cane. After all, he’s worth it!




hard as nails says:

the bull looks like larry.

Charlie Tuna says:

It has reached the point where you can find just about anything on the internet. I keep waiting for e-bay to start selling body parts.

Karen says:

Those eyes on that bull – that’s Larry 🙂

Matt says:

I can see Larry now walking around downtown, shaking his bull penis walking cane at all those downtown restaurants that are closed.

Pat says:

I can’t help but notice that every other post here seems to have the word penis mentioned. Not really complaining.

Natasha says:

Yeah, but Pat, only my post refers to the legendary bull penis.

Jackie says:

What’s up with Larry needing a cane? Is he all right?

Rita says:

Dear Dr. Freud:
Help me understand. So if a tunnel doesn’t merely represent a tunnel, does a Bull Penis Walking Cane have any additional meaning?

PS Should Santa bring this particular cane to Marilyn next year, could you tell me how big of a Christmas Stocking it would take to put this bad boy in? I’ve never seen one that big a Big Lots.

Marilyn says:

Oops, sorry, used my nom de plume in the earlier post!

Jackie, go back to June (?) 2006 and see Larry’s cover story on amputees and such. He’s fine, just once in a while uses a cane when recovering from various foot ailments.

No one here wants to contribute to such a worthy cause?

Man of the Hour says:

No one here wants to contribute to such a worthy cause?

Count me in. My $100 check is on it’s way to CityBeat.

Matt says:

I’ll throw in my cup of pennies but that’s about it. I’m broke.

hard as nails says:

i’ll carry the dude where ever he wants to go.

David Gallaher says:

It’s not surprising that someone who believes a Bull Penis Walking Cane confers power and stamina, would be the same person who would be the patient of a “fake leg maker.” Marilyn, you need to seek out a REAL fake leg maker.
(If I knew how to insert a smiley-face, it would be right here.)

Gregory Flannery says:

I’ll contribute if I get to name Larry’s bull penis.

Marilyn says:

Matt wrote: “I can see Larry now walking around downtown, shaking his bull penis walking cane at all those downtown restaurants that are closed.”

Matt, scarily enough, I find myself in this kind of scenario.

I have a fragile flowering tree in my front yard. One day last summer, I saw the neighbor kids hanging and pulling on the lower branches of this tree. I immediately went to the door, with my cane at my side, and yelled out the door, “Get offa my tree!”

Lord, I’ll soon be known as the crazy one-legged hermit who loves plants and birds and not kids!

David Gallaher says:

Gregory Flannery,
You just did, didn’t you?

Marilyn says:

David, I’ve been the victim of many shamans lately and even I get confused. My muddy wording didn’t clarify matters now did it? 🙂

Greg, I can’t even fathom what name you would propose. Give us a clue!

Polo Stick says:

I think Jean already thinks Larry has a bull penis.

Babble On says:

That bull kind of looks like my ex husband.

Adam says:

Yes, this site does seem to get hung up on sexual body parts, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Dan says:

A penis is a little more than a sexual body part, pal. Ever heard of pissing?

Donny says:

When is the LOL Girl going to write again? She usually writes on Sundays.

David Gallaher says:

LOL Girl usually writes on Sundays?
She has no fear of lightning, eh?

Heather says:

My favrit part of the description on the site:

“Why the basque imagination shoe to alter the penis of a large bull, will perhaps always remain a mystery.”

Too funny!


To insert a smiley-face: colon + right parenthesis


To insert a winking smiley-face: semicolon + right parenthesis


numb says:

After all, he’s worth it!


Larry Gross says:

“When is the LOL Girl going to write again?”


All I can tell you is sometime this month.

Matt says:

So jackass numb is back. What ya been doing, fucking Jean?

Heather says:

LOL Girl is going to have a tough time competing now that Teri’s upped the ante to anal sex.

Maybe she can go into the explicit details of how she likes to take it in the ear.

David Gallaher says:


hard as nails says:


David Gallaher says:

“Maybe she can go into the explicit details of how she likes to take it in the ear.”

Jean has already meticulously counted each and every bodily appendage and orifice, and she’s predicting this blog site’s days are numbered: 69, she says, give or take a few. (She even counted tongue warts.)

hard as nails says:

david, be quiet. jean is busy having anal sex with numb.

Heather says:

okay, but who’s doing who?

Marilyn says:

Heather, the description did rock! To anyone who did not go to the link, please do — I have problems understanding bull biology. Oh My!

In light of the fact that I’ll always need a cane handy, I might well invest in this legendary bull organ penis cane. After all, we all know that a penis conveys strength and vitality and, well damn, stamina (we can only hope!).

When I get said cane, I’ll put up a post and request ideas so the bloggers can name that cane!

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