CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog











{January 10, 2007}   My Date, My Penis

womanscreaming.jpgHello. My name is Troy. Some days back, I wrote a story about my penis problem. Many of you assumed it was some kind of joke. I assure you it’s not.

Over the weekend, I had a date with a woman I work with at P & G. Her name is Jean. She has always been impressed with my muscular body, blonde hair and good looks. I decided to show her I’m a good lover too.

On Saturday night, I picked her up in my Porsche Carrera GT. We took a chance and went downtown to try and find a restaurant that was open. Most were closed, but we ended up having an outstanding meal at Palomino’s.

After dinner, we went back to my luxury apartment in Hyde Park. We immediately went to my bedroom.

As her hands touched my muscular body, I could feel myself getting aroused. I removed her dress and underwear and caressed her large breasts. I then removed my own clothes.

I stood there naked in the somewhat darkened room and Jean looked down at my penis. After staring at it for several seconds, she looked up at me with a puzzled look on her face.

We got into bed and I attempted to make love to my sexy co-worker. I failed. Despite my full erection, my penis was still the size of a toothpick.

When I French-kissed her, she screamed out in horror, wanting to know what that was on my tongue. When I told her it was my “love-wart,” she got on her cell phone and called a taxi for home. Even my Porsche Carrera GT no longer was of interest to her.

Now I must face Jean in the hallways of P & G. Any suggestions on what I should say to her?

Troy

(Photo: wtamu.edu)

Advertisements


hard as nails says:

at least somebody is making the attempt to screw jean.



Wally says:

I’ve never heard of a “love-wart” — new product P & G is developing?



Eddie says:

Any suggestions on what I should say to her?

Just say you’re sorry and if she ever needs anything to clean her teeth with you always have that toothpick available.



Karen says:

Funny business 🙂



Barbara says:

You should change the name of this blog to “Penis Out Loud.” Every other post involves a penis somehow.



Biscuit says:

Nothing says “tiny penis” like a Porsche.

Did you know that in some states if you have a Porsche AND vanity plates your neighbors are allowed to stone you? It’s in the old testiment.



Mandy says:

Gee Troy, I hate to be laughing at your expense but I sure the hell did!



Joe says:

Nothing says “tiny penis” like a Porsche.

Yes. Well said.



Susan says:

Yet another disgusting post.



Heather says:

One day, the awful wrath of Jean Almighty will rain down upon your sinful souls, and you will know what it is to suffer.

I’m just glad I’ll be here in San Diego when it happens.

May god have mercy on you all.



Bill says:

Does anyone from P & G read here? Does any of you know Troy? Or Nate?



Tom says:

I work at P & G and we have a Troy here, but there’s no way it can be the same guy!



Steve says:

Troy: The P & G executive with a penis the size of a toothpick and his love wart: sounds like a pilot for Fox.



Carlene says:

I hope this isn’t going to be a on going series about Troy and his penis. It kind of worked once but trying it again really doesn’t work.



Jim says:

“Now I must face Jean in the hallways of P & G. Any suggestions on what I should say to her?”

Troy, I feel your problem is a small one and you need not say anything to Jean. Fifty years from now, this episode will be forgotten by everyone. Patience.



Marilyn says:

Biscuit, long ago my daughter and I (living out here in ya-hoo land) coined the phrase “penis extension” for all those big-ass pickup trucks guys out here drive. You know the type: Dual wheels on the back, tool chest up against the cab, confederate flag bumper stickers.



Biscuit says:

“Now I must face Jean in the hallways of P & G. Any suggestions on what I should say to her?”

It probably doesn’t matter what you say -no one can understand you with that wart on your tongue anyway.

But you could try to say, “iammm sthorie jween”



Guy says:

Any suggestions on what I should say to her?

Maybe you could say you’re checking with your insurance coverage to see if it will pay for a penis transplant.



Bitch from Price Hill says:

You caressed your large breasts? Maybe they look large to you, honey, because of your small dick, but Jean is an A cup.



Dodger says:

horrible, sickening, in extreme poor taste.

however, quite funny.



molly says:

in reading your most recent “adventure” and in reading the first one, i find your talking about your “love wart” disgusting. no more p & g products for me.



Marilyn says:

Dearest Troy,

If you would only have your love wart removed, I would rock your world!

Sincerely,
Marilyn



Phil says:

Maybe you could say you’re checking with your insurance coverage to see if it will pay for a penis transplant.

The next Troy story could involve getting a penis transplant, getting a penis the size of a 2 by 4.



hard as nails says:

suggestions how what to tell jean? tell you hate this blog and want it shut down. She’ll probably suck your toothpick and kiss your love wart.



D.K. says:

The post sucks today. Drop this Troy dude.



Polo Stick says:

Jean looks like my mother. Why are you trying to screw her with your toothpick?



hard as nails says:

P.S.,
if your mother is jean, i’m sooooooo sorry.



Gregory Flannery says:

I think you should have a pet name for your love wart.



Mac says:

I think you should have a pet name for your love wart.

My ex-wife’s name comes to head -Boil, not spelled that way.



hard as nails says:

the love wart should be named jean. afterall, she is a wart.



[…] informed Jean, a co-worker I took out a few months ago, about the medicine I ordered for my penis and asked her if she would be interested in going out […]



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: