CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{January 18, 2007}   Finding a Cure for my Penis

troy.jpgHello. My name is Troy. I’m an executive at P & G in downtown Cincinnati. I live in Hyde Park and drive a Porsche Carrera CT. I have a muscular body. I am a good looking young man but my penis is the size of a toothpick.

I have been a little depressed about this lately, but before going to work this morning, I turned on my computer and found this:


It goes against all within me to buy pills to help make my member larger but at this point I will try anything. Before driving my Porsche Carrera CT to work, I ordered three bottles each of the products listed above. I will use all of them in an attempt to help make my penis larger and more enjoyable to the ladies.

Maybe I can ask Jean out again. Maybe if my penis is larger, I can also get her to enjoy the “love-wart” on my tongue.

I will report back here within the next several says.


(Photo of Troy’s muscular body:


hard as nails says:

good luck with your penis problem, troy. doesn’t p & g make products that could help you? rub some creast toothpaste on that pecker of yours.

Laura says:

Please report back soon. I’m so worried about your little dick.


J.R. says:

This has gotten old really quick.

Chuck says:

Maybe you don’t know it, but you are already a big dick.

Man of the Hour says:

Curious………what size is Jean’s oyster?

hard as nails says:

i don’t think she has an oyster, rather something else — if you know what i mean.

Rita says:

“Doctors removed the remainder of Castro’s large intestine and created an artificial anus. But this operation also failed.”

I am so sorry. When I heard about Castro’s artificial anus. I thought – damn, if they can make an anus for Castro, maybe in time, medical technology could make an artificial large penis for you. But alas, total tragedy – no hope for Castro. No hope for you. But remember the sun will come out tomorrow —– your happy thought of the day —- stem cells. Your happy thought for tomorrow – organ transplant.

Rick says:

Yes, Troy has something to live for.

Brenda says:

Troy, don’t bother to report back. Your “story” is getting old really quick. I could care less about your make belive penis.

Karen says:

NO, NO, don’t stop. Some of us think it’s funny!!

John says:

Strange and funny in a way. What in the world do you do at P & G?

C.A. MacConnell says:

I’m worried about Troy’s package. his picture is f’n hilarious. Maybe the Speedo is cutting off the circulation…wear some pants that breathe, and maybe you’ll become elephant sized. Plus, I’m still rolling over Hard as Nails’ country line “I have tears in my ears.” I have ear tears just thinking about that put to guitar.

Marilyn says:

Screw the viagra, give me xanax! Is that $2 per 1 mg pill?

Ah, but seriously my Troy Boy Toy! I’ve told you and told you, all you have to do is have some serious laser surgery on that wart and you won’t need viagra!

not to be negative says:

This post is retarded.

Betty says:

I don’t know if Rita was kidding around about that artifical anus but the idea of it I thought was pretty funny.

Robin says:

LOL girl is always looking for something new to try. Why don’t you connect with her and see if she gets off on your love wart.

Jackie says:

But you have a nice car? You have a good job? You live in Hyde Park? You have a love-wart?

Count your blessings, you loser with a small penis.

Theresa says:

Hey Troy,
Turn us on. Show us a picture of your love wart.

Phil says:

I hope your penis gets so big it blows up. Your posts are boring.

Rally says:

Maybe the Speedo is cutting off the circulation

The asshole probably wears them to bad at night.

Marilyn says:

Just an observation: The guys here dislike Troy (my boy toy) almost as much as a lot of girls dislike LOL Girl. Kinda telling, ya know?!

PS to Betty: Yep, they really did try to put a new asshole on Castro. Goggle it!

Marilyn says:

Ooops, my perfection slipped. I meant to write “Google” it!

Elly says:

I think people are mean to LOL Girl and Troy because they’re not real people, ya know? You always come across as human. These two are just jokes.

Marilyn says:

Elly, in my own little paranoid twilight zone, I’ve often wondered if I were the only “real” person here. Well, I know Rita and Larry are real, cause I’ve met them… but the rest of the characters here??

(insert twilight zone theme song here)

Larry Gross says:

I’ m not real either. My actual name is Greg Flannery.

Marilyn says:

Hell Larry, we BOTH know Greg Flannery isn’t real!!

Rita says:

I hate to tell you, I’m not real either. Merely an illusion.

Betty: I’m not that creative to create the idea of an artificial anus. If they can do this, maybe we really did land on the moon.

Not to be negative,
I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but using the word retarded really offends me. I have seen the negative power of this word when people who are mentally retarded hear this label as used here. Just wanted you to know.

Marilyn says:

Rita, get off the blog and get yer butt over here! Sheesh! She says she’s coming to spring me from my home and I see her posting on the blog…

Hell, maybe she really is a delusion. A bit of undigested food…

JohnFrangerson says:

Nice Post.

That was well said. Always appreciate your indepth views. Keep up the great work!


[…] couple weeks ago, a drug company sent me an e-mail about pills that will make my penis grow. I was hesitant to send away for any of these pills but I […]

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