CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{January 22, 2007}   Fired Because of my Restroom Habits

restroom.jpgUp until last Friday, I was an executive at a big corporation in downtown Cincinnati. On Friday I was fired – fired because of my bathroom habits.

They said I was never at my desk. They said I didn’t complete projects and could never meet deadlines. They said I wasn’t performing. I can’t really argue with them, because I was busy in the corporate restroom jacking off.

Ever since breaking up with my girlfriend, I’ve been a mess. I no longer have anyone to screw. Now, I must have sex with myself several times a day and when I was working, I simple had no choice but to do it at work.

I’ll miss going in, will miss all the great looking girls who work there. I’ll miss this Teri chick the most.

Those eyes, so blue. Her long blonde hair, so beautiful.

Her breasts, sooooooo large and playful.

She has the perfect ass and I love her short skirts.

Her legs…….simply outstanding, so lovely.

Her feet……… die for.

The way she moves her mouth when she talks to me.

…………………excuse me; I must go to the restroom.


(Photo: p.s. Nate is in the middle stall)


Kelly says:

Horny Nate is funny!

Jackie says:

LOL Girl,
Get over and see Nate right away. He’s a little backed up!

J.R. says:

I realize this is most likely a joke, but back in my “horny days” when I was a kid and I’m saying early 20’s, going to the bathroom at work and jacking off wasn’t all that uncommon. Sometimes you get turned on at work.

Nate, I can relate.

Barbara says:

This blog is becoming constantly disgusting.

Matt says:

No way I could do it J.R. If someone caught me I’d have to quit my job.

Polly says:

I don’t want to believe men really do this.

Jean says:

John Fox, the editor of CityBeat who is over this vile, sickening blog that Larry Gross runs must be proud of this kind of work, must be proud of this story of a man masturbating in a restroom. Apparently, this is the kind of story he wants to see out there for the public to read.

Jane says:

I’m glad you were fired, Nate. You sound like a complete jackass.

Helen says:

The thought of a male co-worker having a conversation with me or whatever and then going into the john to jake off is very sickening to me. This Nate character has some issues he needs to work out.

hard as nails says:

top of the morning to you jean.

Harvey says:

Try to contain yourself when standing in the unemployment line.

Biscuit says:

ok, That was pretty funny.

hard as nails says:

and then going into the john to jake off

jack is bad enough. let’s leave jake out of this.

Jon says:

This wasn’t funny THE FIRST TIME YOU WROTE IT.

Darlene says:

This is too funny. Poor Nate just can’t control himself.

Jeannie says:

Do men really do this?

Matt says:

I have no idea why you keep putting yourself through this. If you find this “vile” don’t come here.

Marilyn says:

Welcome back, Jean! We missed ya!

Bee says:

“Do men really do this?”

Get real, Jeannie. Of course they do. With men, its all about tits and ass and little else. Having a hard pecker is the only thing that really matters.

Phil says:

It’s sad when a woman starts grouping all men as being the same. It’s like saying all women are like LOL Girl.

Tate says:

…………what phil just said.

Ted says:

Jesus Christ. No, not all men jack off in the john. Some don’t have to. Some have a little class.

Polo Stick says:

I wonder what Nate calls his package – “24/7?”

Mac says:

With today’s post, certain questions come up.

*Is Nate sitting or standing when having sex with himself?

*If he’s in a sitting position, does he also take a piss or take a dump while he’s having sex with himself?

*Does he scream out when he comes?

You need to finish your story, Nate.

Marilyn says:

Actually, even women do this (I guess).

I’m not sure that this ex-in law (a female) is the norm. Probably not. However, when she was still in the family, she revealed to me that she would go to the ladies room to masterbate. I assume her job wasn’t very challenging or that she may have been a nympho. I haven’t a clue.

I can say that I have never taken a “masterbation break” at work. And I’ve worked a long, long time.

danny says:

women do this too? what a fool i’ve been all these years.

Dell says:

she would go to the ladies room to masterbate
……..must have been LOL Girl.

hard as nails says:

she would go to the ladies room to masterbate
……..must have been LOL Girl.

…or perhaps jean.

Alex says:

When girls go to the bathroom together — what does that mean?

Man of the Hour says:

I’ll miss this Teri chick the most.

Who wouldn’t miss Teri Archer?
She showers with her bathroom door open.
She hangs out in bars.
She writes columns about having PMS.
She writes about having anal sex.
She has sex in every room of the house.

Except for not liking smokers, she’s perfect.

Jack says:

I don’t know why women go to the bathroom together but I doubt if its to have sex if that’s what you’re saying.

hard as nails says:

Except for not liking smokers, she’s perfect.

she have a perfect beaver in that shower photo too.

KRISTY says:

Don’t know why some of you guys are always so hard on Teri. She just writes honest posts about things in her life.

nickie says:

lets hope this nate guy doesn’t become a regular feature here. lol girl is fine but i find this masturbating jackass boring.

Hank says:

He should call his package “I can’t stop loving you.”

Natasha's friend says:

“I can say that I have never taken a “masterbation break” at work. And I’ve worked a long, long time.”

I’m sure you didn’t need masturbation at your job. You were probably getting symbolically screwed enough.

Rita says:

I would like to look on the bright side of this. Perhaps Nate was just “honing” up on his condom application skills.

Natasha says:

Dear Friend of Natasha,

Whew, figuratively and literally, yep I wuz screwed!

[…]   A Hard Interview A couple weeks ago, I was fired from my high paying job, because I spent too much time in the restroom and wasn’t meeting company deadlines. I’m ashamed to say I was in the restroom almost every hour […]

[…] because I was late on projects and could never meet deadlines. The reason for that is because ever since my girlfriend left me, I haven’t been “getting any” and I had sex with myself several times a day in the company […]

[…] Happening to Me? I’ve been unemployed for weeks now. Ever since I lost my job because of jacking off too much in the corporate restroom, my life has gone […]

Mike says:

Oh come on folks….many guys jerk off at work….whether it be in the restroom or otherwise…..

Hell, I’ve been doing it for years……’s wonderful!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: