CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{January 31, 2007}   My Office Drama

Recently a coworker announced she had accepted a position at another business. After the initial shock and disappointment, I began to put myself in her shoes and realized we couldn’t afford to pay her what she’s worth and she wasn’t in a position that would likely lead to a promotion.

Here’s the problem: After she gave her notice, our work relationship changed. We weren’t close friends, but as early arrivers to work, we had a pleasant ritual that consisted of small talk that ranged from personal things about ourselves or family or what we had for dinner the day before. However, lately in response to my unusual sense of humor, I’ve found her rolling her eyes and shaking her head with an expression that could only be read as, “what a jackass”. She used to laugh.

Also, I’ve found that little things about her are now irritating. For instance, she crosses her legs while sitting at the chair at her desk. Why can’t she put her feet on the floor like normal people? Another thing is the way she wears her hair. I used to think it unique, but now I find it child-like. I used to ask her if she wanted anything from downtown when I left the building on errands. Lately, I’ve found myself “forgetting” to ask.

After talking to others, I can’t decide if we are deliberately trying to piss the other off, because it’s easier to be mad at each other than to deal with the thought of our separation or if I’m somehow taking it personally that she’s leaving and retaliating.

I’d almost think I have a crush on her if it weren’t for the fact that she’s married and I’m gay.

Should I try to patch things up? Should I just let it go?

Big Al

(Photo of Big Al pulling his hair out due to his co-worker’s soon departure which is bringing true emotions to the surface from


Beth says:

I think you consider her a good friend and you’re upset she’s going. You’re trying to put distance between the two of you so it won’t hurt so bad when she leaves.

Man of the Hour says:

Hey Big Al,
You look old enough to probably be the girl’s father. Are you sure you’re gay and not just a dirty old man?

jackula says:

here’s a thought, why don’t you go up to her and c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-e how you’re feeling? you’re not really gay. gay men how know to say what they’re feeling.

Matt says:

Sometimes with a coworker you have to put up with them. You know, make nice and all. Now that you know she’s leaving and know that she knows she’s heading out the door, you no longer have to pretend.

Bill says:

Let’s see, you’re taking it personally that she’s leaving, you find her irritating, you have a crush on her, she’s married and you’re gay.

Either you’re a nut case or you’re writing a pilot for FOX.

Jill says:

Just talk to her Al. What are you so afraid of?

Tate says:

As that stupid fish said in that stupid cartoon movie that my wife made me take the kids to see years ago, “go on and kiss the girl.”

Marilyn says:

Al, poor Al, too bad that the firm you work for couldn’t pay her what she’s worth. Isn’t this all too often the case?

I’ll bet the big cheeses at the top get what they are “worth”…

Polo Stick says:

Since you both get to the office early, pinch her on the ass one morning and see what kind of reaction you get.

Bear says:

I agree with Jackula. You’re not gay. You’re just trying to give us all a headache.

Dana says:

Should I try to patch things up? Should I just let it go?

Let it go. Soon, you’ll have someone else to obsess over.

hard as nails says:

nice haircut.

Theresa says:

I think the two of you should patch things up. Maybe you were not the best of friends but don’t we all need all the friends we can get? I think that’s a Charlie Brown line.

Nip says:

When she comes into the office tomorrow office, greet her at her desk naked. If your penis goes up, you’re not gay. If she comes on to you, she hates her husband.

Take a chance, Big Al!

Polly says:

I’m heading home, Big Al, don’t really have time for much of a response. Just would like to say I’m glad I don’t work with you. Or Nate.

Rapid Shave says:

From the looks of you, you must be an accountant. Offer to do her taxes. Perhaps it will bring you close again.

Fran says:

Why are most men who write posts here such fools?

Jim Stanton says:

Hey, watch the hair, Big Al, You don’t have that much to pull out 🙂

Katie says:

Most here aren’t taking you seriously. I will try to.

Forgive me, but a lot of gay men like to have women as best friends. Perhaps you wanted to be closer to this person and was never able to reach that good friendship. Maybe you’re feeling regret.

Be honest with her and tell her how you’re feeling, Al. If she doesn’t respond, then you know you did all you could do.

Ping says:

“I’ve found her rolling her eyes and shaking her head with an expression that could only be read as, “what a jackass”. She used to laugh.”

Sometimes it’s hard to laugh at a JACKASS.

hard as nails says:

that’s a nice watch you’re wearing.

Karen @ the hood says:

You’re funny, Big Al!

Lew says:

Ladies, how would you like to work with this mess of a man everyday?

jen says:

god, your nose. stay away from me!!!!!!

Andrew says:

You’re kind of sad. Try to get a life.

Patty says:

God, do you ever need to see a head doctor. You’re a freak.

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