CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{February 3, 2007}   But Enough About My Penis

troy.jpgHello, my name is Troy. My body is all muscle. I live in a luxury apartment in Hype Park and drive a brand new Porsche Carrera CT. I have a love-wart on my tongue but until those drugs arrive in the mail, my love machine is the size of a toothpick.

But enough about my penis. I’m also an executive at P & G and beginning very soon we will be starting a new advertising campaign – sort of a throw back to the 1960’s.

Below is a clip promoting the new campaign. Any feedback you care to offer would be appreciated by me and Jean, who I’m trying to get interested in my love-wart.


(Photo of Troy who has a penis the size of a toothpick:


Kasty says:

My god, I can spend that much on groceries? Thank you P &G!

Jackie says:

It’s nice to know Troy can talk about something else outside of his you-know-what.

Polly says:

The clip was funny. I’m old enough to remember the 60’s and how my mother would get excited about these kind of so called “deals.” Today, I think women would be insulted by them. I know I would be.

Big Al says:

Troy, I’d pick my teeth with that toothpick any day.

Isis says:

During your very first P&G job interview, did you introduce yourself as “Hello, my name is Troy. My body is all muscle. I live in a luxury apartment in Hype Park and drive a brand new Porsche Carrera CT. I have a love-wart on my tongue but until those drugs arrive in the mail, my love machine is the size of a toothpick.”

Maybe not – you most likely said you had a love machine the size of a toothpick but you probably did not have you Hype Park apt. or Porsche…..

Karen @ the hood says:

This was funny — all those women running around in the grocery store like chickens with their heads cut off!

Tate says:

No hurry on that penis update. In fact, forget about it.

Marilyn says:

Wow, Troy. Don’t think that campaign is gonna work — retro sexism. My husband does all the grocery shopping in this family.

Best of luck with Jean.

Dandy says:

This was far out! Now you got me going to You Tube to check out other old commercials.

hard as nails says:

the blonde lady in the clip looks my aunt bessie.

u-sicken-me says:

your dick stories are getting ooooooold. don’t write another one.

David Gallaher says:

“But David, really! Northern Kentucky doesn’t have the edge on sin. Didn’t Cincinnati have Jerry Springer writing checks to a hooker (admittedly in No. Ky)? Didn’t Pete Rose gamble (not sure where this took place)? Believe me, there is plenty enuff sin to go around. Enuff for all.”

That other thread is surely daid as ary doornail by now, which is why I’m transferring our conversation to here. (Larry will probably flush this.)
I’m not of the Catholic heritage, so I’m not good at clasifying sins, but what I had in mind were not the private sins of the like of Jerry and Pete. I was thinking of public sins such as ripping the brown bag off whatever I happen to be imbibing, allowing prostitutes to stop being harassed, smoking, ingesting whatever substance that happens to strike my fancy. I want to bet on sports. Or not.
Are these mortal sins? Venal sins?
I’m just advocating folks be allowed to “pah-taaay!” I’m advocating tolerance and fun??
City Clowncil and Commissioners spend how many of our tax dollars to keep us from doing the sort of things that have made Las Vegas what it is… not a bad place to hang.
Why do they do that?

Marilyn says:

Well, David, thanks for thinking and replying. Though I DO go back to old posts each day because there can be gems hiding therein.

It’s my belief that the only mortal sin consists of purposely killing a person or other sentient being. Other than that, I believe that whatever God is, she looks the other way and understands all that we do. Do you know?

Advocate tolerance? Certainly! I’ll be writing a story soon on a black woman that got dumped in the middle of the night out here in Red neck land. It was a scary place for her to be, and only I knew that.

David Gallaher says:

Just so you know, I’m an atheist. Sin, schmin.
I’m just using Sinincincinnati as a way to get the mentality around here a little jiggier.
Speaking of which, there was a guy that lived on my floor in the dorm in college who was like Troy.
We called him “Needle-dick the bug-fucker.”
I was an insensitive asshole back in those days. Haven’t changed much.

Marilyn, I look forward to your tale. (Notice I didn’t say tail, here in public.)

gay, buff & hung Jesus says:

Don’t try to pull the moat from another man’s Speedos unless you have a log in your own.

Marilyn says:

I understand atheists… but I totally and better relate to folks who believe in ‘magic’. Scoff if you will, but there is indeed something beyond. I’ll write also of a visit from my 2 days old deceased father. True.

I would never call a person names. Hmmm, does this mean I’m repressed? I don’t think so. I really think I’m an empath. I do understand the motivation behind all folks.

Only George Castanza in ‘Shallow Hal’ had a tale, so no offense taken…

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