CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{February 6, 2007}   Coach Orders Entire Bengal Team to Enter Drug or Alcohol Rehab


Word has it from a somewhat unreliable source that Marvin Lewis, head coach of The Cincinnati Bengals, is fed up with all the Bengal arrest for alcohol or drug related issues and is ordering the entire team to enter rehab.

“It’s really easier on Marvin to tell them all to go,” said a source who states he once saw Lewis. “I mean with so many of them under the influence of alcohol or drugs, he can’t keep track of who’s straight and who isn’t.”

Nine Bengal players have been arrested over the past 13 months. A drug dealer in Over-the-Rhine recently told this reporter he sells crack to Bengal players on a regular basis.

“Ain’t no big deal to me, ya know?” said the crack dealer who seemed to be smoking the stuff himself. “They come on down here to Vine Street all the time, got plenty of money on ‘em to buy the stuff. Shit, a couple of ‘em gave me their autograph.”

In a related story, reports are coming out of South Florida that several Bengal players showed up at Dolphin Stadium this past Sunday, thinking that they were to play in the Super Bowl.

“They were totally shit faced,” said a drunken South Florida resident. “They were all dressed up in their uniforms. All dressed up with no place to play. Kind of sad if you ask me.”

That less than reliable source tells me drug or alcohol rehab for the players should begin some time late this week.

“It’s not going to be easy rounding up these guys,” said the source. “Many are so stoned out of their minds, you can’t even find them. They forget where they live half the time.”

Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter



Jim Stanton says:

With our football team, there is always something to complain about. For years, they played badly. Now, for the most part, they have their act together on the field but CAN’T get it together off the field. I know this post is a joke, but these arrests look bad. How are our kids suppose to look up to these players?

Jeff says:

These arrests have been way overblown in the media and it just continues on here. Your post isn’t even that funny.

Polly says:

I laughed at this. What else can you do? We can only hope that the Bengals clean their act up for next year. I have a 12 year old son who looks up to these players, so I can relate to what Jim is saying. Some of these players should be ashame of themselves.

Matt says:

I see the point here and it’s funny and all, but the players are just normal guys. Who doesn’t drink? As far as the drugs, you’re talking a little weed here. It’s not a big deal.

hard as nails says:

rumor has it that the players are getting their drugs from lol’s own mike hunt.

Isis says:

This is funny. Perhaps Clermont County (where alot of the DUI’s have occurred) could set up a permanent border patrol to round up the Bengals.

I do feel badly for the players that have not been acting like irresponsible and IQ impaired thugs. It takes alot of work, energy and devotion to be where they are at; lots of respect for Palmer who overcame the knee injury.

Ray says:

We finally have a good football team. Why focus on the negative when it comes to these few arrests?

Tammy says:

Too, too funny! How about putting up a photo of this Judy Darling?

Heather says:

I honestly think part of the problem is that professional football players stick out like a sore thumb, and asshole cops have it out for them.

One of the Chargers got arrested for drunk driving a few weeks ago, and it came out later that he tested below the legal blood-alcohol limit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying players are behaving themselves. The Bengals are finally a decent team, but they’re too cocky, and they haven’t really proven themselves on the field yet.

They need to concentrate on football. They’re getting paid too much money to fuck off.

Richard says:

Some of you are saying it’s no big deal and I’m betting those saying it don’t have kids. Kids like their sports heros. It is difficult for me to encourage this when it comes to the Bengals. Substance abuse can’t just be overlooked.

Paul says:

Boys will be boys. All I care about is how they play on the field and mostly they have been playing well.

Mark says:

I have to agree that the media tends to focus on this stuff too much, but I don’t really like football all that much.

Chuck says:

I love football and the Bengals but there is a problem here with a lot of their players. I can’t help but think if these guys who were arrested were at the top of their game, maybe we would have made it to the super bowl this year.

Barb says:

I loved this and as far as I’m concerned, make fun of these damn players and this team as often as you want. It still ticks me off that the taxpapers had to pay for that damn stadium. They got my tax money, but I can’t even afford to go to a game.

hard as nails says:

what’s a few drugs or beers between our football guys? make the playing of the game more creative.

Tom says:

This blog is so anti-Cincinnati, it should move to Cleveland.

Karen says:

Judy is a darling. I love her posts 🙂

C.A. MacConnell says:


C.A. MacConnell says:

Looks like the halfway houses better get some bigger beds.

Maggie says:

What a shame, you know? This didn’t happen back in the old days. What would Forest Greg think of this?

Judy Darling says:

“How about putting up a photo of this Judy Darling?”

No photo of me. I want to be considered a serious print journalist.

Walt says:

I’ll be curious to see if Marvin Lewis cracks down on this kind of shit next season. I really do believe this is one of the reasons whey we didn’t go all the way this year.

Rick says:

I hear you, Walt. It annoys the hell out of me that the rookies on this team can’t keep it together during the playing season. I’m turned off. I’m just going to be a Colts fan and be done with it.

Janice says:

Judy Darling is Larry Gross, no doubt about that. For once, I would like him to write something positive about Cincinnati. Now he’s picking on our finally great football team. Find something nice to say, will you?

Larry Gross says:

“Find something nice to say, will you?”

The snow is very beautiful.


I’m much too ugly to be Judy Darling. Sorry you didn’t like the satire piece.

Matt says:

Janice, you’re getting as bad as Jean. This was meant to be funny.

Julie says:

The biting humor here is right on the money. I’m liking this Judy Darling.

Taylor says:

I also like this “fake news” approach. Why not have Judy start her own City Beat blog with this kind of jazz?

Guy says:

Yes, glad to see the team is finally entering rehab. I understand Talbert House is building a new building just for these clowns.

Ned says:

It was funny. That is all.

Man of the Hour says:

Ned is a man of few words! Indeed, it was hilarious.

josie says:

judy darling is a bitch. i don’t like her style at all.

David Gallaher says:

Reminds me of the time I was part of a group where all were forced to USE drugs.
Down in Parris Island, when my platoon won a marching competition, the only reward that existed there was smoking, but I didn’t smoke. Believe it or not, most of us didn’t smoke even back before most reading this were born. So what to do to celebrate?
The whole platoon was ordered out to the “smoking circle.”
I recall standing there and deeply contemplating, for the first time, the splishing and splashing, assumed to be that of alligators, out in the swamp, which made escape from Parris Island such a character-builder.

T.J. Hooker says:

Are you on drugs? I have no idea how this relates to the post.

David Gallaher says:

You said you scour old posts. I thought you would have come to my defense by now.

T.J. Hooker,
Why would you broadcast your deficiency of reading comprehension skills?

Florida alcohol rehab says:

I think they should check out a Florida alcohol rehab or better yet a drug treatment center. But honestly, I am not sure if I have to laugh at this story. This maybe a plain trick.


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