CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog











{February 9, 2007}   A Day in the Life of Puff Ball

puff-ball-_2.jpg

7:00 a.m. – My so-called “owner” just left. Yeah, I rubbed against her legs and purred until I got fed, after which I went my own way. Now the bitch has finally walked out the door to go to work and I’m giving her the finger.

The bitch’s name is Geri, and no she’s not all bad – but why the fuck would she give me the name Puff Ball? I’m not even all that puffy. I would rather be called Charlie, or “Chuck” for short. That’s a real name for a cat. Puff Ball, Jesus Christ. What am I – gay? – not that there’s anything wrong with that.

8:15 a.m. – Just threw up a hairball on that new rug of Geri’s. She’s not gonna like it, but I don’t give a shit. Speaking of shit, I’d better take a dump in the litter box before heading off to work.

puff-ball-_6.jpg

9:10 a.m. – Arrived at Cin Weekly a little late, but not many are here yet anyway. I work the reception desk half days. Yes, it’s a rag of a paper and the pay is shit, but at least it keeps me in beer money.

10:45 a.m. – Just left the editor’s office. Apparently, some jackass complained to him that I was licking my asshole at my desk. I had to explain to the guy that I’m really just a cat and sometimes our assholes need licking. He seemed to understand.

puff-ball-_9.jpg

1:00 p.m. – Left the office and headed over to Darlene’s place. She can’t hide her scent from me. I know she’s in heat. Above is a picture I took of her last summer. Isn’t she hot? I mean those eyes, that nose!

No, we haven’t made love yet. I’m being patient. Right now, we’re just licking each other and talking. I don’t want her to think I’m just an ordinary tomcat.

puff-ball-_4.jpg

2:30 p.m. – As soon as I walk in the door, the fucking phone rings. It’s Freddy, wanting to know if he can come over. I look in the fridge to see if Geri has any beer. Of course not. Freddy says he’ll pick some up on the way here.

puff-ball-_7.jpg

4:30 p.m. – Here’s a photo I took of Freddy watching television. He’s all drunk watching that Garfield movie. Three beers and he’s all wasted. Kind of sad.

5:30 p.m. – Freddy hit the road for home. I’ve been going to the litter box every 10 minutes. That old saying is true: You can’t buy beer, you can only rent it.

puff-ball-_5.jpg

6:30 p.m. – Geri’s home and she thinks it’s so cute that I’m laying on her bed – thinks that means I’ve been waiting all day for her to get home, that I missed her. What a loser she is. She needs to find herself a man and get laid big time. Feed me you stupid woman!!

puff-ball-_3.jpg

8:00 p.m. – She finally feeds me and my stomach is full. Those beers this afternoon have made me sleepy and I’m hitting the sack early. I’ll dream of Darlene – those beautiful eyes, her lovely mouth, and the way she holds her tail up when she walks, showing me her magnificent asshole. Oh Darlene………..Darlene…………

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Puff Ball

(Photos of Puff Ball and friends from google.com)

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Wally says:

Garfield with a fucking attitude. I loved this.



Polly says:

This was a fun way to start a Friday morning. I hope Puff Ball pays us another visit!



Matt says:

That does it. If Puff Ball can find a job, I’m talking to my cat Peter about finding work.

And any cat that’s a beer drinker is all right in my book!



Jim Stanton says:

I can’t say I’m a big fan of cats, but you get an A for being original. I thought the story was kind of funny.



Jeff says:

This is one cool cat!



Julie says:

This was very, VERY funny.



ED says:

Maybe you people won’t believe this, but back in my college days, I had a cat who actually would drink beer out of his bowl. Bud was his favorite.



Pam says:

pretty silly and not funny.



Isis says:

Puff Ball
When I woke up this morning, I found Butch the Cat reading your Post. Sad to say, but Butch was actually laughing his ass off regarding your name. Had to give him an additional shot of Ancient Age to stop his convulsive laughing. I am now counseling him regarding being more sensitive to others feeling. Unfortunately, he just flipped me off. He’s still pissed off about being spayed.

PS – Butch just told me you looked like a Puff Ball t him and he could kick your ass.



Puff Ball says:

Bring it on, Butch, bring it on!!



Wendy says:

I always suspected that my cat had a secret life after I left for work, this post just makes me even more curious.



Karen says:

Good old Puff Ball – a cat after my own heart 🙂



Marilyn says:

Damn Puff Ball. You think YOU got it bad? My daughter named HER cat Baby. Yup.

And puh-lease come and take care of my daughter’s cat. Baby is going through her first ‘cycle’; she’s in heat and hasn’t a clue what to do about it. The yowling is really getting on my nerves. I finally told Baby to get her ass outta my face that I had absolutely nothing that could help her.

(Yeah, and John Fox warned us about what could happen if this blog goes to the cats…)



Baby the Cat says:

Dear Puff Ball,

I’ll call you Chuck, if you call me by my real name, Cleo.

I sure wish Geri would bring you for a visit. My housemates here are useless.



Puff Ball says:

my daughter’s cat. Baby is going through her first ‘cycle’

……I’m catching the bus. I’ll be right over.



Isis says:

Baby the Cat is fickled and lives out in the country where there are lots of young studs. I suggest you take a cab.



Butch the Cat says:

Pleeeeease. Fluffy Hair Ball – I know no fear.



Becky says:

This blog has gone to the dogs,,,, I mean cats today.



Debbie says:

Man, this was wildly funny today! – really enjoyed this one.



Paul says:

When your cat starts writing your blog, that’s when you know you’re in trouble.



C.A. says:

I’m sorry, but Freddy stole the show.



Freddy says:

Tank u………sorry, a little drunk



Erin says:

Puff Ball,
I’m in love with you! I laughed so hard at you!!



FOXYROXY says:

Puff Ball! You rule!



Christy says:

Maybe I just love cats or maybe I’m nuts, but I loved this so much. I hope Puff Ball comes back to visit us again.



John says:

It’s original – I gotta say that.



Kris says:

I’m gay – not that there’s anything wrong with that – and glad Puff ball feels the same way! Very cute and yes wicked post from our cat friend here today. Geri, give Puff Ball an extra treat tonight.



Mary says:

You rocked my world today – turned others on to your little adventure. Come back again!



Dot says:

I’m a cat lover and a friend told me about this story a little bit ago. Puff Ball, you are just darling! You look a little bit like my cat Muffins who has white feet.

I enjoyed reading about your little adventure!



numb says:

p.b. – you’re fat. piss on larry’s shoes.



Matt says:

Screw you numb. please go away.



What the f*ck is the point of this blog?



Larry Gross says:

“What the f*ck is the point of this blog?”

There’s no point at all. We just wanted to give you a way to promote your design studio. You’re welcome.



Rita says:

VisuaLingual
The point is: it made most of us laugh – what could possibly be better then that?



Larry, unlike some people, I included my URL as a way to take ownership of my criticism. Nothing more, nothing less… As a newcomer to Cincinnati, I occasionally check out this blog, hoping to learn more about my new home. A lot of the time, the content leaves me scratching my head. It’s not you; it’s me. This blog just isn’t what I expected or was looking for.



Larry Gross says:

“This blog just isn’t what I expected or was looking for.”

That’s fine. I know we’re not for everybody. If you would, go over to the blogroll and check out The Cincinnati Nation, Cincinnati Beacon or Cincinnati Blogspot. Maybe one of them will be more to your liking.



Marilyn says:

Why does everything have to have a point?



Natasha says:

Marilyn, a better way to phrase your question would be:

Why must everything have a point?

Thank you…



Baby the Cat says:

Hey VisuaLingual, you might like CityBeat’s porkopolis (news) blog: http://citybeat.wordpress.com/tag/porkopolis/



Wanda says:

Will there be more Puff Ball adventures? I found this really funny.



Bonnie says:

Puff Ball,
If Geri ever wants to give you up, you can have a home with me. You can invite your friends over and drink all the beer you want 🙂



Boob says:

Probably the funniest thing I’ve read this week. Puff Ball, let’s hang out.



Darlene the Cat says:

I’m still in heat. Come here, Puff Ball, I want you so badly.



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