I once developed an on-line correspondence with a man; I’ll call him Mr. Virtuous. Our relationship progressed to talking on the telephone.
During one of our conversations, somehow I brought up the subject of masturbation.
He immediately got defensive and told me, “I’ve never masturbated in my life!”
I swear, folks, this is what he told me. This is what he honestly expected me to believe.
Me, I was dumbfounded. From my side of the country, my mouth hung open.
I recovered quickly and told him that his abstinence was certainly interesting. I then asked him if he had a problem with the fact that I, indeed, practice self-gratification and had been doing so since the age of 12.
I can’t remember his answer. It didn’t matter because now I’d decided this man was too sexually repressed for me to consider any possible relationship.
My question is this: Is there anyone here who has never masturbated? Because I really don’t think this is possible.
To order masturbation kit, send $39.95 to “masturbation kit,” in care of L-O-L Blog, P.O. Box 18354798-0045-T, Cincinnati, Ohio 98125-0479. Checks, money orders and credit cards NOT accepted. Coins only – in quarters.