Reports are coming out of City Hall that a solution has been found for the long delayed Banks Project. Cincinnati and Hamilton County officials are expected to announce this week that the property has been sold to three Cincinnati banks.
Fifth Third Bank, P.N.C. Bank and U.S. Bank, in a joint venture, will build massive banks on the 15 acres between the Reds and Bengals stadiums.
“I think this is a win, win situation for The Queen City,” said a person standing outside City Hall. “We’ll finally get something going on the riverfront that we all can enjoy. Who doesn’t like going to the bank and withdrawing money or making deposits? Now all three of our major banks will be right there together. Talk about convenience!”
One Fifth Third executive who wouldn’t reveal his name to this reporter (but I know he works for Fifth Third – had one of those silly looking pins stuck on his suit), says his financial company feels so strongly that people will come down to the riverfront to do their banking, that they are considering an admission fee to enter The Banks property.
“You know how we like service fees,” said the Fifth Third executive with a big smile on his face. “We want to be the only bank on The Banks that you’ll ever need.”
Proposed in 1999, there was to be a mixture of condominiums, offices and shops on the riverfront, but long delays in getting funding has frustrated City Council.
“We just want a quick fix to this problem,” said a person waiting for a bus on Walnut Street who said she knows a City Council member. “We’ll be able to do our banking down there, you know, take out cash from our savings accounts – then head on over to Northern Kentucky to spend it.”
Cincinnati and Hamilton County officials aren’t expected to have contracts with the three major banks on how to develop the riverfront area or how the banks will be structured.
“Who wouldn’t trust a bank?” said a City Council member. “Verbal is good enough for us.”
L-O-L Blog Reporter
(The Banks logo from The Banks Project. Fifth Third photo from satanslaundromat.com. P.N.C. photo from lanterninvestments.net. U.S. Bank photo from teammamaska.org)