CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{February 14, 2007}   A Visit From Dad

visit-from-dad.jpgI earnestly believe I was visited by the soul (or spirit or light) of my two-days deceased father. It was December 10, 2001.

I was alone in my living room, the night before my father’s funeral. Everyone had gone to bed, but I chose to sit up and be alone in my thoughts.

My father and I had never been especially close. We loved each other from an uneasy distance.

I found myself sitting on the couch. The TV was on, but the sound was turned down.

I was not out of my mind with grief. I was not drinking or drugging. I was simply sad, very sad, for all the stupid things we did to each other during our crazy dance of life.

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the presence of him. No I couldn’t see him, but I knew it was him just the same. I was in his head, and he was in mine. He was somehow permitted to share with me where he was, and the plane he was now on was unbelievably beautiful. No, not to the eyes, but to the heart.

We spent some time together. We both realized in an instant that most of the crap we had done to each other was absurd. We were able to laugh at our actions, because we now knew how trivial it all was.

But the experience became unbearable to me. The joy and love and beauty, was too much for me to handle so I finally told him, ‘Dad, you are going to have to leave, this is too intense, I’m going to short out.’ My mind couldn’t take it anymore, my heart was too full.

And he slowly left me.

I believe this happened to me with all my heart. Since that time, I’ve come to understand that he was allowed to visit me to prepare me for the trials I would soon undergo — amputation, loss of a son. I now know that where my father is, time is not linear and he could see everything at once — past, present and future.

I never doubt but that this did happen to me. I had a visit from my father from the other side. And I know that is an amazing place to be.


(Photo from


Brian says:

I know from other posts you have written that you firmly believe in spirits. I’m sorry, I just don’t. This was probably just a dream.

Sue says:

If you believe in God, if you believe in the afterlife, then you must believe that spirits exist. There’s no doubt in my mind that your father visited you. This should be comforting.

Taylor says:

I don’t think we’re smart enough to figure this type of thing out. I’ve never had this happen to me but some of my friends have told me about visits from spirits, from those passed on. I just don’t know. I guess free to believe what you want.

Bill says:

Sorry – don’t buy it. You are born, you live, you did. That’s all folks!

Daniel says:

The man I loved most in this world was my grandfather and he died ten years ago. I was stricken with grief for days after his death. Finally he came to me in a dream that told me he was fine, in a better place and was enjoying his new kind of life. Since then, he’s come back to be in dreams so yes, there is a life after this one. I know without a doubt that I will see my grandfather again.

Death says:

This is Death, coming back from the grave to send you this e-mail. To you the living – have a nice icey day in Cincinnati.

Del says:

What’s with all the “dreams” post lately? You die and that’s it. Not much to really write about.

Debbie says:

Interesting reading. Some of my friends have had experiences like this but I don’t know. It’s never happened to me.

Rita says:

How wonderful that you can have such an interesting, cold and distant sense of humor and response to such a sincere, honest and emotional post.

For everyone else:
I know that this experience has helped Marilyn through the most horrible times that most of us fortunately cannot imagine.

What you believe is what you believe – for we are all the centers of our own universes. We are the star of our own individual shows.

Heather says:

I hope there’s a life after this one because this one is entirely too short.

Brian Ciesko says:

Who’s to say what truly exists at this level and what is doesn’t? None of us are even in total control of our emotions, let alone what happens in dimensions of time and/or space we can’t access with our puny conscious minds. Check out that movie “What The Bleep Do We Know?” with an open mind and you get your human egomania taken down a level or two.
Marilyn had comfort given to her, either by the emotional chemicals in her brain or by the spirit of her father. In the end,that’s all that matters, not what its source was.

hard as nails says:

your dreams are what you had for dinner.

Nancy says:

I feel sorry for those who don’t believe. They are missing out on so much.

Vickie says:

I try hard to believe that there is a force out there that I’m not smart enough to understand. Having said that, I see so much injustice in this world and I have to question really if there is a higher being, why does he left people suffer?

hard as nails says:

i wonder what spirts mike hunt sees when he takes mushrooms?

Rita says:

I know there are many times I get really angry at God for the pain and suffering. Then I think, why am blaming God? Life happens – the good and the bad. Alot of the mistakes were due to my poor choices and how I viewed the events – I need to work on acceptance. Growing older, your losses increases – family and friends leave thru death or choice. The body changes – things don’t work the way they used to. That’s the way of life. It sucks but what are you going to do?

I have so much respect for Marilyn and the way that she has dealt with the events in her life; I have no idea if I could even come close to being as strong and accepting as she is of her life events; I would pray that I wouldn’t turn to the “dark side”. Marilyn is one classy woman.

Marilyn says:

The comments here are interesting. I’m not surprised by the negative feedback, as I’d already experienced such when I put out my Luke dream post.

What I think is this: We don’t necessarily have to believe in a higher being to be spiritual. If there is a God, I don’t think he/she micro-manages us here on planet earth very much. It is wholly up to us to decide how and what we believe, if anything at all. Savvy?

What do I believe? That we are made up of energy. This energy does not die when our physical bodies die. Is God the collection of all this energy that passes on? Perhaps. I don’t know.

I only know there is something more. And it’s cool, and I’m jiggy with it!

Marilyn says:

Message to Death:

I’m not afraid of you. I used to be, very much. But now I’ve got you figured out to my own satisfaction, see?

Heather says:


I hear you about the energy, and energy cannot die or be destroyed.

But it is our matter which makes our energy coherent; nerves, synapses, chemicals…

I have read about head injuries. One lady who was a mathemetician was in a car accident and as she recovered from her severe head injury, she found she had become a completely different person; an artist.

Another man, a kind, loving husband and father was in a minor car accident and suffered superficial abrasions on the surface of his frontal lobe. He became cold, selfish and primal.

Things like this happen all the time. The core of who someone is, what they may even consider to be their soul, can be fundamentally and permanently changed by rearranging the physical and chemical makeup of their brain.

So I have to wonder, if our energy is so dependent on our matter, how can our energy remain in the coherent form that we consider our SELF when our biological matter dies?

Marilyn says:

Thanks for making me think, Heather (and btw, good column today!).

As I stated before I’m Buddhist. This belief system encourages me to embrace new ideas (well new for me), including the idea that what we BELIEVE to be reality, is only an illusion.

Even Einstein proposed that matter is energy and energy is matter. And he’s way smarter than I! What he said is that the material and the spiritual are a meaningful unity.

So, I guess what I’m saying is this: The core of someone or what they may consider to be their soul, is not at all what they REALLY are — that’s part of the illusion.

The brain injury stuff? Intriguing, but it doesn’t disturb my belief system. The matter gets shaken up, but the spiritual is still there to be worked with in this lifetime, just under a different guise.

Heather says:

Yes, matter is concentrated energy.

And I do believe that what we percieve as reality is an illusion.


Yes, that is encouraging when I look at it like that.

BTW, scientists are currently in the process of conducting experiments which may prove the validity of String Theory, which would also be encouraging.

I’m glad you liked my column.

Barbie says:

Maybe If I had some kind of “experience” I would believe some of what you’re saying, but I haven’t. Therefore, how can I believe?

Larry Gross says:

I think I once said in a column that after you die, your family members try to get back the security deposit on your apartment and that’s about it. However. . .

When my twin brother passed away in September of 1994, I spent several days in Seattle taking care of his affairs. My younger brother flew up with me.

On that first night there, my younger brother slept in my twin brother’s bed. I said I would just sleep on the small love seat in his living room.

As the night went on, I found that I couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of my twin brother was on my mind and also my younger brother’s endless, loud snoring from the bedroom contributed to keeping me up. Also the love seat was very uncomfortable. I felt frustrated. I felt sad.

A gust of wind came in through the living room window. How that was possible I don’t know. The window was closed.

My brother’s snoring from the bedroom became louder and louder. All of sudden, I found the humor in the snoring and I started laughing and I could hear my twin laughing with me. Suddenly, I was sleepy and with a smile on my face, feeling totally at peace, I went to sleep.

Now what was that, Marilyn?

Marilyn says:

Larry, I wish I could answer your question, but I’m only stumbling along like everyone.

You were totally at peace after the experience, to me that’s pretty telling.

Maybe there is nothing beyond this plane. If that’s the case, then it won’t matter. I won’t even be awake to be pissed off at a few of the “sins” I will wish I’d committed.. “I kept my karma clean for THIS?”

Joe says:

It was an interesting article here but you know — we’re all different. For me, you live your life to the fullest each day because I think when we leave this earth, that’s it.

Natasha says:

…”Well, Delmar. There are any manner of lessor demons and imps. But the Great Satan Hisself is red and scaly, with a bi-furcated tail. And carries a hay fork.”

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