CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog











{February 16, 2007}   Medicine for my Penis

troy1.jpgHello. My name is Troy. I’m an executive at P & G downtown and have a luxury apartment in Hyde Park. I am one handsome guy with a body made of muscle, but my love machine is the size of a toothpick.

A couple weeks ago, a drug company sent me an e-mail about pills that will make my penis grow. I was hesitant to send away for any of these pills but I desperately want a bigger penis. I placed my order and paid for it with my American Express Gold card.

I informed Jean, a co-worker I took out a few months ago, about the medicine I ordered for my penis and asked her if she would be interested in going out again. She laughed and said no.

That’s fine. I understand. There’s a girl down on the fourth floor named Carol who’s always looking at my muscled body. I asked her out for Friday night and she quickly said yes.

I picked her up in my Porsche Carrera GT. We went and had a pleasant dinner over at The Washington Platform on Elm Street. The conversation was light and friendly and the way she kept looking into my eyes told me she wanted me to take her back to my luxury apartment and make mad, passionate love to her.

Once we reached my apartment, I excused myself to use the bathroom. I went to my medicine chest and found the pills that would make my penis larger.

I took two Viagra, two Cialis, two Xanax and two Ambien – figuring the more pills swallowed, the more my penis would grow.

When I returned to my living room, Carol wasn’t there. I heard her calling my name from the bedroom. She had already stripped herself naked and was lying on my bed.

“Come here,” she said, spreading her legs, “I want you inside me now.”

I could feel movement down below my belt. The pills were working. I could feel my penis getting bigger and bigger.

I quickly removed my shoes, then my shit, pants, socks and then my underwear. Carol looked at my package and screamed in horror.

screaming-woman-copy.jpg

My penis was still the size of a toothpick, but my balls – god – they were huge, almost like having two bowling balls below my tiny penis.

troys-bowling-balls.jpg

I quickly got into bed and explained to Carol about the pills I had just taken and while maybe my penis was still the size of a toothpick, I did have a love-wart on my tongue that would bring her a lot of pleasure. She wasn’t listening. She was on her cell phone calling a taxi for home.

When I see Carol now at P & G she doesn’t even look at me. She’s now hanging out with Jean a lot and I’m wondering what they’re saying about me. I also get a lot of stares from others when I walk down the hallway. You see, my balls are still enormous and gigantic. At least I have that to be proud of.

Troy

(Photo of Troy and an awkward illustration of his balls without getting disgusting from google.com. Photo of screaming Carol from http://www.lawyers911.com)

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Erin says:

Troy,
You’re just a mess. Good luck to you.



Ted says:

“I picked her up in my Porsche Carrera GT”

Get yourself a normal car and maybe your dick will get bigger.



hard as nails says:

remind me never to go bowling with you.



Eileen says:

Why do you continue on with this story? It is really, really dumb. Even an LOL Girl story is better than this trash.



Ned says:

Would it be wrong to say this post is……………nuts?



Karen says:

Poor, poor Troy. He just can’t get a break 😦



Rita says:

Troy
You may want to google a search to see if there is an Jean and Carol Support Group Website.

Perhaps you should have given the Xanax with Carol. Could have worked.



Harvey says:

Golly, what a hopeless ass Troy is.



Jackie says:

I love these “little” Troy adventures!



Barbara says:

This is the dumbest piece of trash yet. Get back to doing real stories PLEASE!



Phil says:

I’m afraid I must agree with some of the comments here. I think it is time to put Troy out to pasture. I really don’t care about his penis that is the size of a toothpick. The story has been told. Enough.



Chuck says:

I hope your balls explode and you die. I’m sick of you.



Carlene says:

I think these posts are pretty funny – don’t stop.



Nancy says:

I never know what in the world I’m going to find here each day – that’s what is annoying or what keeps me coming back. I haven’t decided yet – but the adventures of Troy is getting a little old.



Wally says:

I think Troy is one of the most disgusting characters you have here but I can’t help but laugh at him.



Nance says:

I hate Troy and his little penis. Just have someone cut it off and be done with it.



hard as nails says:

oh why have we all turned on troy? he’s just a guy with a little penis.



Bob says:

……………because we have all grown so tired of his little dick and now big balls.



Babble On says:

Troy can put his little penis in my mouth anytime. I think he’s cute.



Tate says:

When it comes to Troy and his penis: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.



Natasha says:

Natasha likes Troy!



David Gallaher says:

Natasha/Nasturtia/Whatever,
You’re just trying to keep this thread turgid.
Pushing on a thread/toothpick is useless.
Pulling you should try.
Or, to turn a thread into a rope, add more hemp.



Natasha says:

I’ve been found out!
Discovered as it were…
Natasha has a thang for Troy.
And only thoughts for Jean or Carol,
Does the man incur.



[…] penis was the size of a toothpick,” Gene stated in her downtown Cincinnati office, “but he was taking pills to try and make it grow – you know Viagra, Xanax, Ambien, all that stuff. Thing is, it did nothing for his penis, but his […]



don says:

Decent read.



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