CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{February 22, 2007}   First Things First


This all happened last week and I’m still scratching my head.

Last Wednesday after I got home from work, the little woman wanted to talk to me about something. I’m all open to that, but she had some things to take care of first.

She still hadn’t shoveled the driveway. Remember all that snow we got here last week? I had to park my car on the street, because she didn’t get around to doing it. No talking until that task was completed.

And the dishes – still in the sink. Real men don’t do dishes, I’ve told her that a thousand times. How can I concentrate on what she wants to talk about when my mind is on those dishes? Clean them up – then we’ll talk.

Maybe not quite yet. I had been thinking a lot about her all day, feeling a little horny. She knows how I am when it comes to having sex. When I want it, I want it now – but I’ll wait until the driveway is shoveled and the dishes are done. I’ll be patient just this once.

After she took care of the driveway, the dishes and after I banged her, she sat me down in the living room for our talk. She said she was leaving me, says she is fed up with being my maid and my sex slave. She had her bags all packed. My wife walked out the door and I have no idea where she is.

I don’t understand. I was a good husband. I always turned my paycheck over to her and even helped take out the trash from time to time.

Women: I don’t understand them. Can somebody help me out here?


(Photo of Paul from


penny says:

the photo with this story says it all and tells us what you really are. enough said.

Babble On says:

You’re lucky she just left you, asshole, and didn’t set you on fire.

Matt says:

I know this is probably one of these “joke posts” but I know guys who do consider women second class citizens and where a partnership with them isn’t equal at all. Yeah, the photo goes well with the story.

Polly says:

You know, I would rather be with someone like Troy than be with a “big dick” like yourself. You’re sad.

Millie says:

You are indeed a fu##ing pig.

Debbie says:

Gee, Paul, can’t figure it out? Think it over while you’re washing your own damn dishes. Pig.

Misplaced says:

There are no grey areas with the Paul character – which is why it doesn’t ring true. But that picture- that is one of the more disturbing things I’ve seen- and I watched a fair amount of the Anna Nicole Smith tributes.

Marilyn says:

Hell, I don’t even make my little man shovel snow! We just wait until it melts.

Larry, that photo says it all and then some!

Harvey says:

The photo alone is laugh out loud funny.

Joe says:

This story, from the photo used to the words written is horrible. To the editor: This ain’t California, pal.

Rita says:

Thanks for the photo. You look exactly as I imagined.

Man of the Hour says:

This ain’t California, pal.

………and this isn’t a church service, butthead

Biscuit says:

“This ain’t California, pal.” WTF

This is the same problem that Jean had. Joe might have a valid point but we’ll never know because the way he presents it gives one the mental picture of midwestern, buckethead with “dungerees” pulled up to his nipples, wearing a belt and red, white and blue suspenders- shaking his fist screaming “This ain’t Caleefornia pal!”. This is the same guy who misses the 1950’s when everything was “hunky dory”

Becky says:

You’re on it, Biscuit. Well said.

Judge Judy says:

Why do people visit here that don’t have a sense of humor? I see it over and over again – complaints about posts that are funny. If you can’t laugh, why do you visit here? Help me understand.

Wanda says:

You are hopelessly in the 1950’s. I wish you luck in trying to find another slave.

Phil says:

Judge Judy,
I think people complain here because they know they can. I’ve done it myself and I don’t ever get a comment deleted by the editor. You get freedom here.

Erin says:

Why the hell did you find that picture?

Darlene says:

“Can somebody help me out here?”

Your beyond help, jackass.

hard as nails says:

paul, i understand teri archer will go out with anybody. ring her up.

Jane says:

Opening up your blog and finding a big penis greeting is a little unnerving.

Matt says:

This ain’t California, pal.

Yeah, you got that right. Freedom of speech is acceptable in California but not in “Joe Lane.”

Jeannie says:

“I was a good husband. I always turned my paycheck over to her and even helped take out the trash from time to time.”

Turning over your fucking paycheck makes you a good husband? You sound like an asshole to me. If you were my husband, I’d cut your dick off in a second.

Ruth says:

Can somebody help me out here?

Why sure. Give me your address so I can come over and shoot your brains out.

Chuck says:

In regards to the photo, how would you like to see this thing walking around in Eden Park?

Karen says:

how would you like to see this thing walking around in Eden Park?

…better yet, in Kroger’s 🙂

Betty says:

The “thing” in the photo looks like my boss.

Your Boss says:

Betty, you’re fired.

Man of the Hour says:

Re: The Photo

Ladies, How would you like to have something like this up you?

Julie says:

I think we all know that’s not Troy walking around.

jackula says:

“Ladies, How would you like to have something like this up you?”

man of the hour,
how would you like to have something like this stuck up your ass?

hard as nails says:

i don’t think even mike hunt would screw that thing.

David Gallaher says:

Would a Jewish pig be kosher?

Eileen says:

You think your remark is funny? This Jewish person thinks you’re an ass.

David Gallaher says:

Praise Jesus you were offended, Eileen! I was just helping Larry offend each and every group and subgroup in Sinincincinnati.
We didn’t want to miss anyone.

Heather says:


You should be ashamed of yourself!

Sure it’s funny, but is it appropriate?

Okay, the more I think about it, the funnier it is, but offending people’s faith to amuse yourself is just plain wrong.

And sure, it’s one of my own favorite recreational activities, but that doesn’t make it right.


David Gallaher says:

At least you didn’t call me a “putz.”

Heather says:

You know I’m just messing with you.

I’m not into shame.

[…] left me because she thought I was a pig. I think she realizes now she was totally […]

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