In spite of the occasional sexually repressed comment; I knew this blog would be a good place to talk about sex. But I had no idea the response to my first post would be so strong! Or wet. And loud, lord, I do love a loud response.
So after the women who found me were done having their way with me and the Throbbing Fleshwand of Love, I needed a night out by myself. Little did I know I would meet my match from the women’s team. And don’t even ask; LOL Girl has her way of doing things but, tragically for me, I’ve no clue as to where she lives.
Even though I just meant to go out to replenish my fluids and breathe in vast quantities of oxygen, I found myself inside a bar. Plenty of fluids here and the oxygen is just as good as outdoors now that we can’t fucking smoke anywhere. Then I saw her.
Strawberry blonde hair cradled a beautifully cheeked face with sparkly green eyes, standing tall on long curvy legs and the most boobilicious front yard I’d seen in about, oh, three hours. And I simply could not control myself. Which was good because those headlights were pointing right at me.
I ordered a drink and watched as she strode her lush body right up to me.
“Do you know anything about dinosaurs?” she asked me.
“Just the petrified kind,” I replied.
“Good,” she said. “I was hoping you could help me find a particular one. Penisaurus Erectus. Do you know it?” she asked, eyeing me closely as she licked the excess saliva dripping from her full red lips. Just my kind of woman: knows what she wants and how to get it.
“Know it?” I laughed and put my arm around her quivering body. “Hell, I know for a fact there’s one in the immediate area, about 2 1/2 feet south of my mouth.”
She smiled and straddled my leg. I smelled peach fish and knew she was ready to be landed.
“Just hold on, darlin’,” I said as she led me out the door. “Have you had dinner yet?”
“No, I suppose we should before our little fuckfest begins,” she panted in a living on lust sort of way. “But make it quick; what did you have in mind?”
“A tube steak smothered in testosterone,” I said as I threw her over my shoulder and took her back to my place.
I am, after all, merely a hormone on legs.
(Photo from roadsideamerica.com)