CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{February 28, 2007}   LOL Blog Contributor Found Dead in his Porsche Carrera GT


Troy, an executive at P & G, contributor to this blog site and who had a penis the size of a toothpick, was found dead in his car parked in front of his luxury apartment building in Hype Park late last night. A police officer who was on the scene stated there was an explosion inside the automobile.

“Hard to explain,” said the officer, “but it appears the lower portion of Mr. Troy’s body exploded. We’ll have to wait and see what the coroner rules as to the cause death.”

Gene, a co-worker at P & G, states she knows the reason as to why Troy is now dead.

“His penis was the size of a toothpick,” Gene stated in her downtown Cincinnati office, “but he was taking pills to try and make it grow – you know Viagra, Xanax, Ambien, all that stuff. Thing is, it did nothing for his penis, but his balls turned into huge balloons and were getting larger everyday. I think they got so big, they finally had to burst.”

“His penis was small, but man was he proud of his balls,” said Nate – a friend of Troy’s who seemed to have a hard on when he spoke with me. “Now his balls are gone and so is his penis that was the side of a toothpick – but at least he can lie in his grave knowing that the love-wart on his tongue didn’t get blown away.”

The LOL Blog will continue investigating the cause of Troy’s death.

Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter

(Photo of the late Troy from


Matt says:

N O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Say it isn’t so?

Barbara says:

No more “little” adventures with Troy? How will I go on?

Ann says:

No more “toothpick” stories? This is a sad day in Cincinnati. Flags should be lowered.

hard as nails says:

let’s hope for a closed casket.

Marilyn says:

Damnit! You give us Troy, you make us empathise with his plight (toothpick syndrome), and then you kill him!

Or was it Jean who provided the toxic toothpick antidote?

Biscuit says:

It’s a sad day indeed.
A city weeps.
He was a man with a big heart and a very small penis.

Does Jean have an alibi? Did anyone see her running from the scene with a faulty penis pump?

Judy Darling says:

“Does Jean have an alibi? Did anyone see her running from the scene with a faulty penis pump?”

Excellent questions, Biscuit, excellent questions. Rest assured, I will stay on this case. The story of Troy is not over.

Erin says:

Can I have his car?

Tate says:

LOL Blog Contributor Found Dead in his Porsche Carrera GT

Good! I’ll be drinking tonight. I hated his toothpick penis.

Marilyn says:

Tate! Have you no heart!? How would you feel if LOL Girl died???

I’m sure Jean is involved…

Tommy Boy says:


Jackie says:

I miss Troy already 😦

Duke says:

This joke got really old after a while. I’m glad to see it “dead.”

Karen @ the hood says:

I will also miss Troy but I think he is mostly made up. I thought he was funny.

Marilyn, do you know where Rita is? I haven’t read any of her comments for some time now.

jackula says:

i will miss troy


not really.

lol girl i would miss.

Dandy says:

If only I would had known, I would have sucked his penis which was the size of a toothpick. If only I had known. Now its too late.

Marilyn says:

Karen @ the hood: Rita will be back soon. She’s had some stuff to take care of.

John says:

It was a tasteless running joke that wasn’t funny. I think the editor here realized it.

Gregory Flannery says:

Or maybe the editor has a penis the size of a toothpick, too.

Roy says:

I am inconsolible with grief! I am Roy, Troy’s twin brother. You never knew me, but Troy and I are like in every way except one: while nature was very mean to Troy and his toothpick dick, I was blessed with abundance.

Now I sit here looking down at my overgenerous member, and I’m overwhelmed. Why my brother? Why me?


Judy Darling says:

Roy, brother of Troy, is being being questioned by the Cincinnati Police in regards to Troy’s death. To be continued.

C.A. says:

NNNNNNNNNoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, not my Troy. I have fallen in love with his miniscule member. Where to go now.

David Gallaher says:

Maybe Troy could be resurrected like Bill the Cat was?

Rita says:

I mourn the loss of Troy. I am happy though that in the end, he at least exploded.

Did you say there was a job opening at P&G?????

Thanks for asking about me. Life is starting to settle down. Think positive energy for my cat pal Monica the Cat – she’s been pretty ill. I don’t have the heart to tell her about Troy. It would be too much….

Isis says:

Roy Troy’s brother:
What kind of car do you drive?

Karen @ the hood says:

I’m sorry about your cat, hope she is getting better. I have missed your witty comments here. You and Marilyn are a nice team!

On my way to work!

Anderson says:

white man, white penis.

Marilyn says:

Troy had the biggest balls of them all!

carsick says:

This is my first time to this blog. It seems a little more sophomoric than I was expecting from the writer I thought writes pieces for CityBeat magazine.
Being a new visitor maybe it’s just more in-house community oriented than I expected.

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Could you just come right out and say it?
Or, at least put your head out the window?

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