CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{March 7, 2007}   It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas – In March

5th-street.JPGIf you’re driving your car down 5th Street in the heart of downtown Cincinnati, maybe you’ve taken notice of all the banners promoting “A Christmas Carol” – an annual Christmas play scheduled each year at Cincinnati’s Playhouse in the Park. When I first noticed the banners, I thought perhaps the Playhouse was starting promotions early this year.

A Playhouse spokesperson who did not want to be named in this report seemed puzzled.

“Eh, no, I don’t think so,” said the spokesperson who also mentioned to me that she wants to be an actress. “March is a little early to start thinking about Christmas. We at least try to wait until Easter before we think about promoting our Christmas schedule.”

As it turns out, The Playhouse is not starting promotions early at all. A city worker eating a donut under one of the banners on 5th street explained it this way.

“We were gonna get around to taking them down last month,” said the city worker with his mouth full, “but shit, February turned pretty cold, ya know? – And the City Council wouldn’t give gloves to us workers. They were cut in the 2007 budget. My hands get cold up there and besides, I’m scared of heights.”

I asked the city worker if he didn’t think leaving these holiday banners up would confuse tourists.

“I kind of doubt it, he said, wiping donut off his face and mouth. “I mean most people in their cars are looking toward Northern Kentucky. Those banners ain’t road signs, ya know what I mean?”

The city worker had no idea when the banners would be removed.

“Hell, tornado season is right around the corner,” he said, taking another donut out of his bag. “Maybe a twister will do our job for us.”

Judy Darling,
LOL Blog Reporter

(Photo of banner taken by city worker while taking a break from eating his donuts)


Polly says:

I can’t tell if this is a joke or not. If it’s not, then we truly have a lazy city.

Tim says:

Here is another example of how Cincinnati needs to just start over somehow. Throw everybody out who works for the city and find brand new people to replace them, people who take pride in Cincinnati.

Perry says:

I know this story is true. I’ve been the banners on Fifth Street. This is really, really lazy.

Rhines says:


I pledge to donate at least $10,000 to a campaign this fall to get Cincinnati voters to throw out every single member of the City Council. The donation would be based on commitments for another $200,000 raised in order to launch an effective campaign. Most money raised would be used for media advertising.

Endorsed city council candidates would have to agree to completely clean house within City Hall once in office — including firing everyone in the city’s economic development division — and to pressure changes at the Chamber of Commerce and at Downtown Cincinnati Inc.

Richard Hines

Matt says:

Mr. Hines,
If I had $10,000, I would do the same thing you’re doing. ALL of City Council needs to go. Cincinnati needs new blood.

Jackie says:

This is just another example of this lazy, lazy city.

Julie says:

When a person puts his money where his mouth is, you have to take them seriously. Good for Richard Hines. Richard, my only complaint with you is that you took CincyNation away from us. Any chance on bringing it back?

Vickie says:

I can’t help but wonder…if someone in New York or Boston of even St. Louis were reading this about Cincinnati, what would they think of us? We are so lazy that we can’t even take down Christmas banners? YES, throw out City Council and start over.

Barbara says:

Here we go again. Another rant that doesn’t mean anything, just banners that haven’t been taken down yet. No big deal – but this blog wants to take anything a little bit wrong here and twist it into a big deal. Again, for once, find someone good to say.

John says:

I’m not usually a downtown basher, but I have to admit this makes us good bad. TAKE THEM DOWN!

Karen says:

God bless Richard Hines 🙂

jackula says:

you people in cincinnati are so lazy, you’ll probably forget to set your clocks ahead an hour on sunday.

jmc513 says:

Hines isn’t putting his money where his mouth is, he’s putting his mouth where his money is. It’s easy to say you’re going to pay for something like that when there’s nothing to give money to. I pledge a hundred million dollars for a program to cross breed ninjas and pirates, provided a gajillion dollars is first raised. See? Easy.

Getting rid of every council member sure would make a splash. But some of those people are decent public servants. Bortz, for example.

Furthermore, this is something that literally can’t happen. Council members don’t have the authority to fire city staff, let alone fire a whole department. Besides, part of the problem with economic development in this town is that that role was outsourced by Luken-Lemmie and handed over to 3CDC.

I know several people who work for the city. They’re neither incompentent nor lazy. They work hard, for much less than they’d get in the private sector, to make the city better.

What are you doing?

Dan says:

How’s this for quick action. The Playhouse banners have just been replaced with Heart Mini-Marathon banners. It only took 2+ months – but at least they’re now taken down. Thanks Judy – that city worker must’ve made a beeline to a supervisor’s office.

hard as nails says:

What are you doing?

getting ready to take a dump. what are you doing?

Tony says:

“Thanks Judy – that city worker must’ve made a beeline to a supervisor’s office.”

This is funny. It takes a blogger to get the city off it’s ass.

Nancy says:

This doesn’t reall surprise anyone does it? Just typical Cincinnati. Put Richard Hines on City Council!

Biscuit says:

We’ve all seen the red-neck neighbors that keep their christmas decorations up all year- remember how we used to laugh at them? Guess what- we have become those red-neck neighbors. I wonder if Northern Kentucky is sometimes embarrassed to be associated with Cincinnati

C.A. says:

I’m all for the ninja and pirate idea. I’m not a fan of holidays in general. I say we should cut out all the crap, just get free days off to go to the movies and get paid for it. The only one I like is Halloween.

“What are you doing?” I am procrastinating, listening to a car alarm that goes off every other day…same alarm.

Jill says:

What a laughable city we live in.

Del says:

I don’t know if this blog had anything to do with those old banners finally being taken down or not but it’s sad when it has to be pointed out to the people who “so call” run this city. JMC513, how do you put a positive spin on it?

Marilyn says:

Judy, Darling, this is your best piece yet!

Del, do you really think it is coincidence? I don’t.

Del says:

No, Marilyn, it’s probably not coincidence. It’s a pretty sad state of affairs.

Sally says:

This post would be quite funny if it wasn’t so true. Sometimes the only thing you can do with this stupid city is laugh at it.

Patrica says:

Judy Darling for Cincinnati City Council!!!

Sammy says:

Well, I’m glad they are finally down. I’ve noticed them for the past month when driving. I guess I’m getting use to living in a lazy city.

Gus_J says:

CA and Nails – Y’all crack me up.

Cinci should trade 1 banner for 1 parking ticket. says:

Listen. Listen very closely. Listen over to Northern Kentucky.

They are laughing at us.

bob says:

People who have absolutely no pride in their city and look for every reason possible to put it down just crack me up. Who cares what St. Louis would think of our signs that need to come down. Like that place is great or something? Do you think other cities don’t have these same issues? Give me a break.

RHines says:

No Bob, it’s the complete opposite. People are complaining because they DO have pride in their city

This is like the slob who never cleans up. He has no pride in himself. Those who supposedly run the city have no pride, they are there for a paycheck only. They don’t care, and this has got to stop.

…. Make the Pledge For Change

Rick Hines

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