Yesterday afternoon, friends gathered at a funeral home in downtown Cincinnati to pay their last respects to Troy – a P & G executive and a man whose body was all muscle. However, his penis was the size of a toothpick.
Troy was killed during an explosion in his Porsche Carrera GT last week outside his apartment building in Hyde Park. A police investigation is still ongoing.
While Troy was a P & G executive, no one from the corporation attended the funeral, including Carol and Jean, the last two people who actually saw his penis. This reporter has it from a reliable source that police are checking their whereabouts at the time of Troy’s death.
Mostly those in attendance were fellow LOL Blog contributors.
Larry Gross attended the funeral with Marilyn – the two of them sobbing throughout the service. Mike Hunt arrived with a sheep, but the funeral director would not allow the farm animal inside the funeral home. Furious, Mr. Hunt and his sheep left.
Nate arrived early and started a conversation with Brandy, but had to excuse himself when he developed a hard-on and had to use the funeral home’s restroom. When Candy Apple arrived, she appeared to be lost and started a rambling conversation with Paul who appeared to be depressed as his wife has recently left him due to the fact that he’s a fucking PIG.
Holden McGroyne was in attendance with three sexy women all over him. It was quite embarrassing. Brian Ciesko arrived with Karen @ The Hood and Teri Archer was seen weeping during the service with a bottle of vodka in her hands.
Heather was unable to attend, but sent a nice bunch of flowers – the only one to think to do so. When LOL Girl entered the funeral home, many – including this reporter – thought they heard movement inside the casket with the explanation being that LOL Girl’s sexy good looks can even wake the dead.
The service was closed casket as the explosion inside Troy’s automobile blew off his legs, his balls and his tiny penis. Only the love-wart on this tongue remained.
Troy’s brother Roy, did not attend the funeral. This reporter suspects that he and Carol and Jean had a hand in the death of our beloved Troy. Again, the investigation is ongoing.
LOL Blog Reporter
(Photo of the late Troy and his casket from google.com. What kind of funeral home would have a casket displayed on some kind of wooden grate? And where is that water on the floor coming from? Maybe I don’t want to know)