8:00 a.m. – Thank god it’s Friday. I usually work part-time during the week at CiN Weekly, but I’m calling in sick today. Fuck ‘em.
My owner Geri has been drinking a lot in the mornings these days. Don’t know what that’s about, maybe it’s because she can’t get a date. Maybe if the bitch would lose a few pounds, maybe she would find a guy. Whatever. She left some vodka here in the glass. Let’s see if I can get a buzz going on this morning.
10:30 a.m. – Hung out over at Darlene’s for awhile. I was thinking this would be the day to finally pop her cherry, but no – all she wanted to do was talk. Talk, talk, talk or talk or lick, lick and talk. Damn it. I want some pussy!
2:30 p.m. – After screwing Fran, I head on over to Chuck’s. He’s always got beer but you always have to put up with listening to his rock-star act. I mean, the cat can’t sing at all. Everything is meow, meow, meow. Tedious. Really Tedious.
5:30 p.m. – I lie on Geri’s bed until she gets home. She just walked through the door. Feed me you bitch!
8:30 p.m. – Geri’s out for the evening – says she has a date. Let’s hope the guy can get it up so she can get some.
12:30 a.m. – It’s time to pass out, time to call it a night. I love you Darlene, Darlene, my pretty, my pretty, my Darlene…………….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
(Photos of Puff Ball and his pals from the wonderful world of the google.)