I’ve been unemployed for weeks now. Ever since I lost my job because of jacking off too much in the corporate restroom, my life has gone downhill.
Job interviews don’t go well, because my mind is always on sex. Even doctor visits become difficult if the doctor examining me has a pair of breasts. Damn my girlfriend. Why did she have to break up with me?
I’ve got plenty of time on my hands these days. I’m sitting at a table in a bar here in Cincinnati, drinking a gin and tonic. The bar is almost empty as it’s early in the afternoon.
The bartender is an old guy who isn’t very friendly. The guy sitting at the bar nursing a beer smiled at me when I came in.
He’s older than me – not a bad looking guy. He has short brown hair and I like his glasses. He’s reading a newspaper and I like that – a man who wants to know what’s going on in the world.
I like his jacket too.
He orders another beer from the bartender, looks over at me and smiles again.
I don’t know why, I’m not gay, but I feel my penis getting hard. Why does this man keep smiling at me? What does he want?
His back is turned to me again and he’s still reading his newspaper. I like the way he takes small sips of his beer. I wish he would stand up so I could get a look at his ass.
My penis is getting harder.
What’s happening to me?
(Jesus, what a screwed up guy. Photo from thevisualrecord.com)