CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{April 8, 2007}   My name is Butch – Butch the Cat


I was homeless, living outside in the suburbs. Rita – the crazy cat lady – treated me well. She would feed me morning and night plus an occasional hit of cat nip. I looked inside her patio door and dreamily watched her feline family enjoy central heat and cable. Winter cold was setting in. I knew I had to develop a plan to infiltrate this home. It was only going to get colder.

Operation: Moving on up.

Plan 1: Appeal to her heart by getting into her car engine and acquire a mild wound (don’t want to get killed or anything!) so she would take me in, nurse me to health and fall in love with me.

Result: Screwed up my timing, hit by a fan belt, and Rita took me to the Vet. – Damn needles and stitches. Outside again.

Plan 2: (A variation on Plan 1.) Get into a slight scuffle with Mike the Bastard Cat.


Result: Mike the Bastard Cat not only kicked my ass, but bit the hell out of it also. Back to the Vet. Shots in my ass. Plus side: Vet said I had to be watched closely and take pills. Oh momma – I am in. Sabotaged my medical care. Every time I came close to being healed I mysteriously became sick again. After two months of this critical care, I knew I had won her heart.


Rita found me a new home – three hours away. I haven’t gone this far to live in a trailer park in dumb f**k Egypt with some guy.


He never had a cat before – eee-ha – virgin territory. I stayed under the couch when he was home – the only time he saw me was when I flew out of the transport cage when I first arrived.

When he left for work, I played with all the toys that Rita gave me, left them in the middle of the living room, and sneaked minute nibbles at my food so he’d think I wasn’t eating. He thought I was dying from malnutrition – I don’t think so.

This went on for six weeks. He sought advice from Rita and her friends – ha!

One night he called Rita to tell her that when he adopted a cat, he actually thought he would see it.

Time to play hard ball. I bet everything – I knew it was either to a cat homeless shelter (I don’t want to die!), or Rita would understand her karma would have to be repaid in another life if she did not intervene.

BINGO! Success at last! Rita and her friend Marilyn drove three hours to pick me up and take me to back to the home of my choice. When she came to the trailer, I flew under his bed and patiently waited for her to place me in my carrier.

On the three hour return trip, I folded my paws, purred and smiled all the way home. Marilyn kept laughing knowing that I, Butch the cat, had won!

I now am the master of the house, keeping the other cats and Rita in line.

Central heat and air, great food, someone to clean up after me – the good life. Stitches, a bite in ass, at home with my girl Rita – priceless.

Butch the Cat

(Photo of Butch the Cat taken by Rita. Photo of Mike the Bastard Cat taken by Puff Ball. Trailer park photo from


Becky says:

Your eyes-really scary!!

Jim Stanton says:

Rita may be the “Crazy Cat Lady,” but it sounds like she saved your life, good buddy!

This was a nice Sunday morning read.

Karen says:

I don’t know who’s cuter, you or Puff Ball 🙂

Mac says:

Huh? ANOTHER post written by a cat? Come on. This is stupid.

Jackie says:

Very creative. Interesting. Butch, How did you learn to type so well?

Isis says:

Hey Mac
Stupid? I don’t think so – how many cats do you know that can use Microsoft Word and the internet?

hard as nails says:

how many cats do you know that can use Microsoft Word and the internet?

also has sense enough to use the spell check on microsoft word. this cat is p &g material.

Erin says:

The photo of the trailer park cracked me up. Can you imagine people living like this?

Marilyn says:

I’m not so proud to mention that Mike the Bastard cat was named after my ex-husband, Mike the Bastard! True.

Matt says:

Butch is a respectful name for a pussycat, unlike Puff Ball. How can that cat live his life with a name like that?

Jill says:

Its like those eyes look right through you.

Rita says:

Butch is interesting. His eyes freak out the other cats. When he looks at them they seem to feel like prey. (Hopefully in a loving way – but I’m still not quite sure.)

Rapid Shave says:

If I saw those eyes staring at me in the middle of the night, it would scare the shit out of me.

Babble On says:

God bless ya, Rita, for taking old Butch in. I can tell from his story that he appreciates it!!

Karen @ the hood says:

Happy Easter to you Butch the Cat!!!!

Bill says:

Yes, the old Living Out Loud C A T blog.

You’re overdoing it with this kind of stuff.

Jackie says:

Hey Bill,
A lot of us think its funny!

Joey says:

This is really strange.
Mike the bastard cat? I got a bud named Mike and I’ll be damn if this cat doesn’t look just like him.
As I said, strange.

Eileen says:

This was cute. I hope Butch pays another visit soon.

Helen says:

I think you have Rita under your “paw” and she doesn’t mind a bit!

Rick says:

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!

Enjoyed it 🙂

jackula says:

a sexy cat. love those eyes, butch.

Marilyn says:

Butch is the smartest cat I’ve ever known. That cat actually held out for weeks (6 or more) just knowing Rita would come back and get him. There was absolutely no way that cat was ever going to buddy up to the so-called new owner.

I literally laughed my ass off from north of Columbus to home hauling that grinnin’ cat home.

Tom says:

Cats are amazing animals. I truly think they know exactly who they want to be with. The guy in the trailer park was obliously a mismatch and Butch know who he wanted to be with. Thanks god Rita could see this.

Rita, you have a really big heart. God bless you.

Sally says:

Butch is even better than Puff Ball. MORE BUTCH THE CAT!!!!!!!!!!!

dooly says:

butch: cooooooooooooooooooooooooooool cat.

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