CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{April 11, 2007}   Me and My Mind


I wrestle with words. That’s what navigating the territory of a short story or essay is all about and any writer knows that going in. The nice thing about these LOL deals is that they’re short, cool shots that are easy to pump out. And I mean “pump” in an artistic sense.

Anyway, I tend to give them more drama than they deserve and Larry has told me as much. But, hell, look at the process I have to go through.

First, I have to plunge into the vast multitude of vibrations inside me as they perpetually wheel and soar about the circular space of my skull. These are my thoughts, nebulous and fleeting yet as real as the tastefully swank attire draped upon my debonair frame.

Secondly, when I perceive one of these tripped out thoughts to finally be at its most potent and fully toned aesthetic value I have to seize it before it slips away. And I have to snag it with the same brain that created it which is not as hard as it sounds but not as easy as I wish it was either (I’m always slipping on paradoxical ice puddles like that but hardly ever fall down.)

Then I have to relax a certain muscle valve near the base of my skull, a trap door into the theater of my mind and let the thought fall through. It rumbles, turns and swirls down the top of my spinal chord, bounces off my cervical vertebrae and down my right arm, squirting through my fingertips and into a keyboard, becoming the words you see here.

So you see I have this whole spazmatron production to go through (it’s all done with vibrations.) Is it like this for everybody? Because you should see what I have to go through just to talk like a semi-coherent person.

Brian Ciesko

(Photo of Brian’s brain and skull from Bone Clones)


Tim says:

I don’t write stories or essays but I do a lot of business writing on a daily basis. I don’t think I go through what you do, but yes, I put a great deal of thought into what I write.

Karen says:

Regardless of the process, your posts are well worth it for the reader 🙂

hard as nails says:

you should see what I have to go through just to talk like a semi-coherent person.

……..same here. maybe that’s why i’ve been jobless for the past six months.

Susan says:

Wow! Actually s smart post this morning. What’s gotten into you?

Nancy says:


I read this blog all the time and while on some days I find the post insulting and/or not interesting, there is no way I could do a daily blog – too much pressure to have to come up with something new everyday.

Thanks for letting us know your thought process.

Death says:

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. I won’t be wasting my time here today.

Matt says:

Any day that death stays away is a good day. Goodbye Death, don’t ever come back.

Brenda says:

Maybe I’m missing the point of this. It just seems to be a thing about how to “prepare” for writing but there’s no real story here.

Dan says:

Interesting read. I guess every writer has their own way of getting into their work.

Jacob says:

Why put yourself through all that. It’s just a blog.

Brian Ciesko says:

It’s all in good fun, people, all in good fun.

Nance says:

A post on how to write a post? All right, it’s different.

Stan says:

Man, it sounds like you go thru hell to write a post. Glad you’re not working on a novel.

Jack says:

I can’t quite figure out what this is about.

Marilyn says:

Brian — 🙂

I’ve been told I can call myself a writer, though it’s still hard for me to say!

Sometimes when I write, it comes easy-peasy, flowing from my noggin to my fingertips. Other times, it’s like I’m crafting those words and it can seem difficult and cumbersome. But I know when I’ve “got it” cause I will like what I’ve written (though of course, I’m my own worst critic).

Brian, whatever vibrational jive it takes you to come up with yer stuff, keep it coming!

Shout out to Jacob: It doesn’t matter what I write — essay, blog post, or even an e-mail to a friend — if my name is on it, I do put some thought into it. Nothing is just a “just”.

Debbie says:

I don’t see how you all do it. I can’t write worth a damn.

Peter says:

An interesting read for me as I don’t know much about writing and how writers put their thoughts together. Always enjoy the blog here.

Gail says:

You’re a strange but likable guy, Brian. Keep writing!

Pauly says:

A post about nothing. This is a new low. Even Candy Apple is better than this.

Brian Ciesko says:

Thanks, Marilyn, I’m totally w/you on the “nothing is just a ‘just'”. The blessed curse of being a wordsmith, huh?

Matt says:

It’s not a post about nothing. It’s a post about writing. Sorry you’re not into it but why be so mean about it?

Brian Ciesko says:

PS Don’t worry about calling yourself a writer, you ARE a writer.

Brian Ciesko says:

Matt, sometimes the LOLblog is just a place where the Paulys among us can get a therapeutic vent, free to think and say whatever they want.
No one is defined by what others think and say unless they let them.

Susan says:

“Sorry you’re not into it but why be so mean about it?”

You have got to be kidding. How many people have you gone off on at this blog who didn’t agree with you?

Becky says:

Pauly, I also thought the post was good, just for the record. You’re entitled to your point of view.

Ned says:

This was a post mostly for other writers and looking at it that way, it was damn decent.

Larry Gross says:

We very well knew that today’s post wouldn’t be for everybody and yes, writers are the ones who find it more interesting and Brian is a damn fine one.

Like any writer who takes his or her work seriously, Brian is the kind of writer who wants to stay and stay and stay into a piece of work until he gets it just right. He has written Living Out Loud columns for me and I’ve lost track of how many he has wanted revised right on up to the last minute. As a writer, I can relate to that totally – but sometimes as an editor I have to say “enough already!”

Speaking of the column, Brian has written an outstanding one that will be in CityBeat the last issue of this month.

Marilyn says:

Brian, Yeppers, it’s kinda a struggle wanting to write; craving to write! It must be, and many won’t get it, but that’s ok too!

Karen @ the hood says:

I’m not really like Brian or Marilyn. I’m one of those wanta be’s but I thought this was a good story. Brian and Marilyn are a lot better than me but writing helps sort out my life and I’m lucky to be able to do it here. Thank you Larry!!!

Teri Archer says:

I learn from you, Brian. Thank you.

Brian Ciesko says:

Wow, I’d like to thank the Academy . . .seriously, thanks for the kudos everyone, mucho appreciato.

Gus_J says:

“No one is defined by what others think and say unless they let them.”

Except for Brenda and Pauly. Are you all the people I see walking around looking like they’re pissed off all day long? Really, be happy, maybe get a kitten.

“I’m one of those wanta be’s but I thought this was a good story.”

Whatever Karen, you know you rock.

Nice post Brian, I saw images and heard sounds, I love to read stuff like this. It’s candy for the mind.

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