CityBeat’s Living Out Loud – Cincinnati Blog

{April 15, 2007}   Back On Your Back and Holden Tight


Remember last week? 82 freakin’ degrees and my radar was on like Donkey Kong. They were pointing me in the eye everywhere and I could hear them singing in the warm wind. That’s right, nipples, freed from their wintery confines made a maddeningly brief appearance and then were chased back undercover by the cruel whims of that bitch goddess, Mother Nature. Nothing like a wintry Easter to fuck with your mood and my libido, right?

The bartender nodded glumly and I got an amen from the choir.

“I hear ya, man, it doesn’t do much for anybody,” a small spectacled woman at the bar to my left agreed. Her two sizes too big coat confirmed her testimony. “Just when I was ready for it, given a taste, it gets taken away from me.”

“True that, sister,” I said as I paid my tab and headed out the door. A chill wind slapped my upside the head. I started the sort of trip home that I hate (alone) when I heard the one woman choir call from behind.

“Hey, would you mind walking me back to my car? I don’t know about this neighborhood at night.”

“Sure,” I said. Her little reddish blonde hair bopped along beside me until we reached a beat up old cruiser van straight out of the ’70s.

“It’s not much but it gets me where I want to go,” she said. ” Hop in, I’ll give ya ride. You live around here?”

Wait a minute, I thought to my self, otherwise speechless as I climbed aboard.

And so off went the glasses, down came the hair and there went the coat. And there they were – two of the finest rayon wrapped nips I’ve ever seen and they were headed my way.

“God, I’m cold. Help me get warm, will ya? And what’s your name anyway?”

Looks like my radar needs a tune-up. Hand me that tube of lube, will ya?

Holden McGroyne

(Holden found the time to take the photo above after his “ride”)


Vickie says:

Who are you really? James Bond??!!

dooly says:

wow, holden, this stuff never happens to me or anybody else. what’s your secret or is it all in your head?

Karen @ the hood says:

This was funny!!

Jackie says:

God’s gift to women has returned! I think Holden should make a movie of his adventures.

Cathy Patter says:

Full of yourself much?

Matt says:

I wanta know the name of that bar, man!

Barbara says:

Give me a break. You’re disgusting.

jackula says:

oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh holden, where have you been all my life? come here, come here!!! let me touch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bitch from Price Hill says:

So you like nipples, Holden? You should get a load of mine. You can hang tools on them!

Marilyn says:

Ms Price Hill, those sound dangerous!

Nancy says:

I usually like it here, but this was tasteless crap.

Tate says:

I need to start hanging out with you, Holden. It sounds like you score a lot more than I do.

Brandy says:

Holden, you’re kind of like Nate – – always got that hard on but at least you do something about it.

Nasty says:

This was written by some horny guy you ain’t gettin’ any. Gee.

Jenny says:

This was a scream!

Sue me says:

I think my least favorite stuff on this blog is the made up shit. LOL Girl, Nate, Troy – all that. This Holden character is the worst. One comment I’ve read here is like he’s just a horny guy who can’t get any. That’s about right.

Keep it real, man.

Wendy says:

two of the finest rayon wrapped nips I’ve ever seen and they were headed my way.


Matt says:

Some of you need to lighten up. This was all in fun folks.

Wanda says:

The post is all right but like LOL girl and the rest, it is sort of the same thing all the time. I agree. It needs to be kept real here most of the time.

Jennifer White says:

I think Holden is great. What’s wrong with a guy being sure of himself? I’d like to hang out with him sometime.

Holden McGroyne says:

Ooh, amens and damnations from the choir . . .priceless.

Tim says:

To all of you out there who think Holden is a “character”: What if he’s not?

jill-o says:

To all of you out there who think Holden is a “character”: What if he’s not?

i hope he’s not a character. i love holden. he’s been away from here for too long.

Theresa says:

Been out all day – got back and turned on my computer and read Holden’s piece.

All right. It’s stupid and maybe crap, but the guy makes me smile. Sue me.

Geri says:

Who gives a shit if he may be just a character? Whoever writes him has to be a lot of fun.

Marilyn says:

Holden McGroyne is one cool dude! Guys can be silly over LOL Girl, and we ladies can dream of Holden… whoo hoo!

tilly says:

what would ruth lyons think. hahahaha. she would think you’re disgusting!

tilly says:

p.s. so would paul dixon – paul baby!!!

Babble On says:

Holden has grown old. Yes, like others, I’m tired of the made up stuff. Talk about real issues.

Jodie says:

Do you might have a spam concern on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your scenario; we now have created some great stitgeares and we are looking to trade solutions with other folks, be sure to blast me an e-mail if serious.

The bird sacrificed its life for a chance to feel like flying, even? if it was just one time. It could seem stupid, but the main message is more like: “Some dreams are worth everything.”

numb says:


the story put me to sleep.


David Gallaher says:

You might know the answer, but, then again, you might want to ask Larry if this could be a suitable inquiry for a new Living Out Loud thread:

Where have all the pubic hairs gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the pubic hairs gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the pubic hairs gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?

Holden McGroyne says:

I’m with you, brother – Bush:it’s not just a beer or an idiot in the White House.

Marilyn says:

David, an olde flower child much like myself…

David Gallaher says:

Marilyn, I take that to mean you cherish each and every pube of yours which hasn’t fallen out?

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